Did you hear about the lawsuit against the rock band U2?
The plaintiffs lost the case because their lawyer was pro Bono
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︎ May 12 2021
I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.
He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.
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︎ May 24 2021
Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
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︎ May 19 2021
Iโm voting for the Rock for president..
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Terrorist walks into a bar and orders a vodka on the rocks
Bartender picks up a piece of ice, and asks "you like ice?"
Terrorist says "Yes, but more than one would be nice"
Bartender grabs another piece of ice and asks "so, you like ices?"
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Why did Dwayne โThe Rockโ Johnsonโs family get tested for COVID-19
They couldnโt smell what the rock was cooking.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
A ghostly apparition of the rock band Procol Harem appeared on my bedroom wall.
I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
So I order a drink on the rocks with a hint of citrus...
I was given a drink with limestone.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Geologists know all the rocks, anthracite many from memory.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Grizzly on the rocks
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing
They're called Mount. Rushmore
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Whereโs the best place to play a rock concert?
On a mountain!๐ค ๐ค ๐ค
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︎ Mar 06 2021
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carโs center console.
It was my climb-it change.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Why did Drake dig up and mash potatoes with a rock at the same time?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
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︎ Dec 17 2020
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Remember the band that did that rock cover of โwalk like an Egyptianโ by The Bangles?
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︎ Dec 16 2020
The Rock announced that he, his wife, and their 2 daughters have recovered from Covid.
They first suspected they had it when no one could smell what he was cooking.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Why didnโt the geologist care about his foliated metamorphic rock?
He didnโt give a schist.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
The rocks
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︎ May 27 2020
Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?
He wasn't "granite" permission.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Did you hear about the wimpy rock?
Fortunately, he got boulder.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Straight, neat, or on the rocks?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?
My deaf friend: heard immunity
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granite.
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︎ May 25 2020
Did you hear the sad news about the free-solo rock climber that fell to his death?
Itโs a real shame because he was such a down-to-earth guy.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
The Rock always say " Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?"
He is always cooking because he's always hungry for Samoa
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Went fishing with a friend that wanted to throw rocks into the lake
I told โem we should just skip it
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson showed me pictures of his kids on his phone.
He was pretty sedimental.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.
The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What did the rock say to the flower ok bloomer.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Is the anime good? I dunno but the manga rocks.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What is the most wanted criminal rock?
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︎ Jul 07 2020
What is the electrician's favorite rock band?
I don't know, they are all individuals who have their own taste in music.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"
Edit: get consent people
"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"
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︎ Apr 11 2018
Gain The Rock Johnson
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︎ Jun 16 2020
What did the geologist say when he collected 69 rocks?
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
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︎ Jun 28 2020
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but donโt sing?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
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