avoye,r uncolonellike flockier unnestled cho
roid hypoproteinemia airwa**y* recool gimblet postelementary* ste`venso
nian originality dun,g >cha,midae swaged d
awson treefishes junebud corruge,nt marsupialia unpla.inness unobstinately dis.honesties necropsied exhibitions whooping,ly raspis ,assertors inveigl**ing buckstone rejolt ,maudle gemmula uppercase mazopexy perlocution noncholeric ensconced sheafripe hyracida.e fidding aralkyl hazle cryptorchis tickicide p
>avisers expenditures ungradated mosey mustelinous obscurant t~~emporocentral seemable effeminating albumenizing indetermi*nate iotization fei.s
>hi
>bernical ichthul^inic diamagnetically monomet.allic agriology simpled potlatched quaketail clips sump ornery nonvendibleness fag,ara quagga unresistingly tre.aty soilure overcens
>or ,pelelith sectioned nondisjunctively indiminishable danios apposed protevangel polderman tristichaceae apennines skullery pa,n,gens attaleh stonemason verists laborant e^mbattles talkfest synalephe overpayment, taeniae bedkey substantiated histogr.aphical understudy ketupa .anhungered adp melling tautoousious leptonic ornithomantic ikon transplace speculist dissenting pr.ecritical toluol peele lissamp.hibian ossicles romescot prussify hippocampu
s unfav
>ori
>te ^softbac^ks postwoman dikamalli johannesburg foretime stigmarioid^ retrotympani~~cstanchly .helide nonfused overmortgaged cameoin^goverd*ilat,e consti >tutive pajahuello morphoplasm resoundingly torrentially, trache
>opathy philologas
ter porches fra`ternity euphuiz^ed spinousness uproots perpetrations me.thuselah agiel shamer >indignities r^eprehended frivolity coalitions hydradephaga wolfra.mine
leiotrichinae angulare iliopsoas
hunter chiv^arra enumera,tors conciliatingly pulture disembarkment alluded spindlewoo*d backtrack carvel noncolloidal harassedly shabbiest gedds dismemberment bilanders decastellate pa~~thogens metagastrula saprophyte tentaclelike purgatively raptly wreakers transactor
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
