Retainer Puns

Because that work is habit forming.

Did you hear about the law office that just won a huge settlement for a dental firm?

They did such a good job, the dentists put them on permanent retainer

I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.

They all tell me I can pay them in retainers.

He only works on retainer.

With winter pretty much here my little garage ship has been getting pretty cold. I have poor circulation so my fingers become icicles and I drop tools, which can be very dangerous. So I duct taped some gloves to some German electric power tools. This way I keep my fingers warm while still retaining my Fein motor control.

They keep them on retainer.

So I am building a stone retaining wall at my house after work yesterday. Been at it for about an hour and a half before my fiance gets home from her job. She stops on the porch, looks at me, and just says, 'You Rockstar!' I couldn't help but smile. PS, I then had to tell her about this subreddit...

Me, the "dad", if I can still retain that title: I recorded Gravity. Want to watch it?
Wife: Nah, let's watch something lighter, that's too heavy.

So my wife is learning sign language in college and will come home excited about all the stuff she has learned and will try to teach me. The only thing I've retained so far is yes and no. So when I ask her something that she wants to say no to, she'll sign it (thumb, index, and middle finger spread out, and then closing, like squishing a bug). I'll reply to this with just the opposite, opening those three fingers. That is not the correct sign for yes, the correct sign is like knocking on a door. Well when she does that to correct me, I yell "Who's there?!"

She's going to divorce, I just know it.