Librarians are useless. I was researching a paper on Clams and asked a librarian for help.

"They're under sea", she said

I could only roll my eyes. Everyone knows that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2022
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Research paper
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Research paper: Dad Jokes and the Deep Roots of Fatherly Teasing

A Danish scientist has delved into the roots of silly, fatherly, humour and come up with a possible explanation

https://psyarxiv.com/r9mhc/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirito_santo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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Teacher: You need to have a hook in your research paper. Me:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_samdwich_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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My friend is writing a research paper comparing the various versions of the Bible.

Turns out there is a lot of cross referencing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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i began my research paper with "Of course, obesity is not an issue to be taken lightly" and then quickly realized how insensitive that'd be

sometimes accidental puns do not work in my favor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sophinesophierce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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Did your hear about the professors that went to an island resort to discuss research paper titles?

It was a topical vacation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alecksface
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I have finished writing my PhD thesis on Penguins

In hindsight, I probably should have written it on paper!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2021
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When I was doing my PhD in botany, I added pictures on my final research paper.

Photos in thesis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Sentient search engine thinks it's hilarious
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cedriceent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2022
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Trying to get going on a research paper, my wife takes my notepad and does this

http://i.imgur.com/BYxhTzo.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongTallTexan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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My son was recording some audio for homework

Him: "Reasons that doing research underwater can be difficult include..."

Me (from my office): "the paper will get too wet!"

Him: "UGH!" stops and restarts recording

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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[Request] Orca/Dolphin/Whale pun for Seaworld Paper

I’m writing a research paper about how it is inhumane for orcas to be kept in Seaworld. I want a really good pun for my title, but the mood is still pretty serious. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutsandhoney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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My dad used β€œtitanium dioxides” in a sentence...

So my sister is writing a research paper for her PhD and it involves titanium dioxides. This is an actual email my Dad sent the family email chain while we were discussing the paper (all names have been changed for privacy):

β€œ"Aunt Jane! Can you use the term titanium dioxides in a sentence so we can better understand its meaning?" asked her curious niece at the Thanksgiving family meal.

"Sure" said Dr Doe, "Mr and Mrs Tanium ran a tannery for years. Their son Ty used to shoot water buffaloes for sport, but his parents convinced him that he should at least save the pelts. So now his parents and Ty Tanium dye ox hides!"

Beat that one!

Dad”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0rgullet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Former US Vice President Al Gore is known for having invented the internet ...

Not many people know that he's also a pioneer in Artificial Intelligence and music. In fact, he's just published a new paper detailing a theory that combines his research in both fields.

He calls his theory the "Al-Gore-rhythm".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toe-haver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Can someone think of a good pun about search & seizures?

I want to think of one for a research paper on the subject but Im unable to think of one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suna123
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Collection of dadness

I am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.

What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives

Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.

What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...

The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.

Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.

We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.

There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.

A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words

SΓΈ, I hΓͺΓ‘rd yΓΆΕ« lΓ¬kΓ« fΓΆrΓ©igΓ± aΓ§Δ‡Δ“Ε„tΕ‘

As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.

My New Years resolution will probably be 25 megapixels, or 4K, not sure yet...

There was a river in Egypt no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Dad-Epitaph:
I thought I'd never live to see this day come.

There are two things that are guaranteed to open doors in life.
Push and Pull!

(How to keep an idiot in suspense)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A man builds robotic snakes for a living, I guess you could say he was a... python programmer!

A researcher's obsession with mixing stone, sand, lime, and water has yielded concrete results.

A madman once attacked a rider on his horse.
The rider had to goto hospital, the horse remains in stable condition.

A man bought a paper shop, it blew away in the wind last night.

Science is all about learning the rules, setting off an absurd amount of explosives, and then writing down what happened.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

Dad: Did you pick up your room?
Kid: No, I tried but it's too heavy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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