My uncle Gary would always said hay was for horses

When I was a little kid anytime some one would get me mad I would say β€œHEY!”

Well my uncle Gary would always replay with β€œHay is for horses”

I can’t tell you how mad I would get after lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No-Front-673
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2022
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I was replaying Wind Waker recently after having binged BNHA, and the idea popped into my head.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecat42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Did anyone else hear about that trial where the whole courtroom had to play baseball?

The jurors all ran home for the game winning runs but were tagged at the plate. There was an instant replay to determine if it was the right call, but ultimately the call stood and the game ended. They're really upset about it and a lot of them think they were safe, but the jury's still out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardcoreHugs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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Why did the Dragonborn climb all the way to High Hrothgar?

He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viral_Idiot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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A bit morbid but hilarious. This happened earlier today.

My son had never heard of the store β€œBuy Buy Baby” (an American chain of stores for products for babies, similar to β€œBabies R Us”). I can’t remember exactly why I brought it up, but I mentioned the store to my wife (I think we were reminiscing on shopping there for our kids). My son overheard me say it, and he asked if it was some sick name for an abortion clinic.

As in β€œBye bye baby.”

So stupid but I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did. I can’t stop replaying it in my head and laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeD341
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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A man wanted to buy a good insecticide

"Is this good for wasps ?" a man asked the retailer.

"No, it kills them" the retailer replayed.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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My pops and I watched the super bowl commercials together…

We skip most of the football due to the annoying announcers, confusing rules and frequent replay delays, but I was able to come up with an answer when he asked what happens when both teams fail to score in OT. It’s a tie, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carltodw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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Got my son on his birthday

OK, yesterday was my sons 6th birthday and he wanted some sort of dog-robot for present but i didnt want to trow money away because i know what they (he and second son) do with toys :) so i told my wife that i would buy him skateboard, because he asked it half-year ago for it, wife said ok, but please buy him also new slippers.

I picked up him from nursery and sit him in his seat and asked him what he want for present, he still wanted robot. Then i told him that i want to buy him something he can ride. He was so exited, he asked me is that a car, i said " can u drive", he said "no, i am too yung", then he asked is that motorbyke, i replayed same, then he asked is that bike, i aksed him, does he already have bike, and he replayed yes, alse happend for scooter. After that he didnt have any more ideas. Then i told him that i will bought him slippers, because u ride slippers (sords of it :D) he was so angry/mad/sad i cant explan :D

ofc i bought him skateboard, but that was so funny for me, that look on his face when he heard slippers, omg

sry for grammar and bad english

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
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Got my daughters with this one: Eldest: Dad are you ready to go yet?

Me: Digital Potato.

Youngest: WHAT!?

Eldest: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: iYam.

Bonus: Later that day eldest states she has the urge to replay Portal 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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