But it was a typo.
He told me it was Typo Negative
I told them I was cooking free range chicken.
I'd have €14.20 now..
...and Luke Skywalker is short for a storm trooper
B Neigh-getive
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
It was Koala tea.
Top marks: A+.
Good thing I managed to get a B+
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
A pop quiz!
(I don’t know why this makes me giggle)
So that’s positive
They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking
But my doctor just said B positive
but it does give me paws.
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Looking for a type-o.
I blame the horse. He could have said neigh.
I turn back to my son and say “it turns out, I’m not made of money”.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula
"Be positive"
A lot of blood tests.
It really ruffled my feathers
Wife: You need to knock out the vent hole.
Me: I think due to the pandemic, we should wait.
Wife: Why?
Me: The country is low on vent hole laters.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.
And as his secretary says...
No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.
A doctor notices this and says, "Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
The man ignores the doctor and continues, now taking everyone's blood pressure.
"Sir, I'll ask you again", says the doctor, "why are you here and what are you doing?"
Ignoring the doctor again, the man then begins to take everyone's blood and starts processing it through the hospital's examination equipment.
"Right!" Shouts the doctor. "Now you're testing my patients!"
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Guess you could say that it was a close shave
But it was just a Typ-o.
Me: It's Kansas State song.
They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
