because it's peak comedy
A loco motive.
...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...
but its a big plus.
First one that comes to mind....
More ducks
But they are a major second.
Doctor finally diagnosed me with Claustrophobia,
His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.
I mean, what’s their porpoise?
Number one. And number two.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
I must have a weekend immune system...
is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.
It had locomotives
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast🙏🏻❤️
Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁
So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies
Marriage
No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!
It's pointless
Why
mask hysteria
I just can’t put my finger on it.
But i’m dad serious
Have to try again later because for some reason I can‘t ATM.
It will help you in the long run.
Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.
We got back to the house and my nephew said...
Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.
Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?
Nephew: no. Is it still broken?
Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.
He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.
Just for the halibut.
They don't call it sharp cheddar for no reason.
They dont want any cases
That 80 is the french equivalent of 420
Too mushroom for error.
Edit: reason damn auto fill.
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I don't have a Ferrari
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I don't have a girlfriend.
What was the reason for the Avon Lady funny walk?
Her lipstick
Too low terrain.
Just needed something to lift my spirits
Number one, and number two
