Radio.com Puns

I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

My dad texted me to remind me to turn in my rent, he thinks I'll forget something important like that I guess. I didn't respond from his initial text message so he quickly sent me another

"Please confirm. Roger over and out."

I responded saying "Thank you!" he was clearly not happy with this and said

"You're supposed to say "Roger..Over" at the end of your communication. Over"

I replied "Roger I love you. Over"

My dad responded with "My name is Dad, not Roger. What the Hell? Over" ...

I will never understand his humor.. But it makes me laugh.

We've done a bunch of these lists on my podcast Shoddy Radio in the past including "Cars and Stars" (Steve Mitsubuscemi, Jean Claude Grand Am), "Groups and Poops" (Stool, The Brown Stripes), and "Chicks and Dicks" (Sigourney Wiener, Dickey Lake). Anyway, I thought some folks here might appreciate these and want to throw in some ideas. So far for our next list "Criminal Acts & Delectable Snacks" we've got Bacon and Entering, First Degree Burger, Child CornDography, Statutory Crepes and a few others I can't remember right now. Any submissions?

We were driving to the fireworks celebration in town as Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" played on the radio.

> Hey, if I worked as a manager at a glove factory, I would would ask new employees if they 🎶 Feel like makin' gloves?!? 🎶

Of course I couldn't let it go, so I followed it up with:

> If I worked at an aviary that specialized in dove procreation, I would ask my co-workers each morning if they 🎶 Feel like makin' doves?!? 🎶

The wife thought it was funny.

A while ago I was sat down to dinner with my family, a delicious meal as it always is, ta very much Mum. Throughout dinner and the usual post-dinner chatter Dad had been muttering "My my myyyy Delilah..." to himself. Usually you can ignore a bit of a quiet singsong someone outside of a conversation is having to themselves but every 10-15 minutes he'd go "My my myyyy Delilah...". A good 2 hours after starting our dinner my sister feels the need to ask "Dad, why do you keep singing my my my delilah? Was there a song on the radio or something?". Dad gives a confused little look and goes "Hmmm? What? Oh dear oh dear oh dear... It's actually a medical problem. I went to the doctor about it recently" then raises his head trying to conceal that grin that we all know and dread. "He said I had Tom Jones Syndrome. I asked if it was common. He just shrugged and said it's not unusual". I gave him two thumbs up and a look of respect, most of the table gave a horrified groan. 2 Hours! the dedication on that man!

Was driving my brother to school when Volcano started playing on the radio, so I turned to him and asked "Do you know?"

"Do I know what?"

Singing along now:

"I don't know"

"I don't know"

"I don't know where I'm gonna go when the volcano blows"

He stuck his hands over his ears and groaned no, so I don't know if knows where to go either.