A list of puns related to "Puppis"
So Iβm reffing a local puppy bowl (where a bunch of puppies up for adoption play βfootballβ with each other). As the ref I need to say funny football puppy puns whole time such as βruffing the passerβ. Any ideas on good football puppy puns? Thanks.
When they could be called subwoofers
That way he can spend all day saying βCome, Stayβ, βGo, Stayβ, βFetch, Stayβ and βStay, Stayβ.
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
Because then it would be a little bare.
He was a little husky.
I told him there called sonβs of bitches
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
Because it's the best thing for a hot dog
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
Right away when we got home he made a bolt for the door.
[removed]
Iβm a faux pa.
Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.
I feel like a father figure now.
I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?
You should always buy two puppies and name them 'one' and 'two'
Incase one runs away, you still have two.
So I named him gnaw-it-all
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
Our new puppy is named Habibi but we all call her Bibi for short. Here are two real dad jokes I've told about her in the past few weeks:
Bibi ate
Bibi gun
Thank you, thank you. bows
Itβs become apparent.
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
A blonde, brunette and a red head escape from prison. While running across a field they hear the guards coming and being tired, the red head suggested hiding in some potato sacks they found.
When the guards reached the sacks one kicked the bag containing the red head, she went meow meow. "Just a sack of kittens" said the guard. Then he kicked the brunettes bag, she went woof woof. "Just a bag of puppies". Lastly he kicked the blondes bag and she went potato potato.
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
Hush Puppies
no, thatβs a top dog
A new yorky
A guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. He didn't do any of that shit."
Heβs a shar pei.
Terrible timing. He always told his jokes without any paws.
I want her to get her dog-ree
Heβs a little melon collie...
Throw a dog a bone
I think we have to take him to the dogtor
They are going cheap
...is a failure to spay or neuter your pet considered littering?
She was ticketed for littering.
Because I take him for a drag rather than a walk
In case you lose one, you still have two.
The dog was given a fine for littering
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