I thought of this pun in class in university back in the late 90s, and I thought it was funny. I still stand by it, and will do so until I die.
We were discussing the conspiracy that there was possibly a female pope at one time in history. The professor asked how would they even know if a certain pope was female. How would they discover it?
I turned to the guy sitting next to me: "Maybe a Papal smear?"
four cheeses
But he only uses papal
I guess he's a catholic.
A cat-holic.
One day, the Pope ended a sermon by blessing “tutti homini”, meaning “all mankind”.
Then a women’s rights group approached him that it was sexist to bless men but not women. So the Pope apologized and promised to make up for it.
The next day, he ended a sermon with an affirming message for women, and by blessing “tutti femini”.
Then, a gay rights group approached him and asked if they could get recognition in the sermon like women did. The Pope agreed, as equal rights were important to him.
The next day the Pope ended the sermon with an affirming message for homosexuals and blessing “tutti frutti”.
"By George, where did John Paul's ring go?"
because it’s so hole-y
Papal
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
It’s a de-spin-sation.
He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.
Because those are his vest mints.
And the bartender yells out "what is this? A joke?"
Paypal
Because it's holey.
He was a blessing in disguise
Because they didn’t want a Pope Sicola
Holy Shit
He raised the Vatican urinals by 4 inches.
A holyday
He’s a cat-a-holic
Holy smokes!
The Batican
He got it from one of the cardinals
Catholic
and the Imam says 'Why the wrong faith?'
He's always pontificating...
... Papal.com
Because they're his holey shoes
Because it's holey....
Because he's a catholic.
Nun
He raised the Vatican urinals six inches.
