Picard Puns

TEN GUAGE

Picard: Make it S.O. .

He likes to go where no man has gone before

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

He points at you, and says "Engage".

“Make queso, number one.”

The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I’d been hoisted by my own Picard.

would that crew member be hoisted by his own Picard?

I guess you could say I was stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!

He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.

The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.

Mom: I'm gonna go take a shower. Dad: Where are you taking it to?

I can't believe I hadn't heard that one before...

My mom and dad got me a nice pea coat for Christmas.

Me: "wow thanks! This is nice"

Dad: "pea coat, you wouldn't believe the shit coat I got!"

[collective moans]

they say he was hoist by his own Picard...

My brother asked for weight plates for Christmas and when he opened up the box there was only one plate instead of the set of two. He made a comment to me saying that there was only one but we just joked amongst ourselves. About halfway through our gift unwrapping, my dad brings out the second weight plate from another room and thinks it is the funniest thing ever.

“Make queso, number one.”