What is Jean Luc Picard's favorite shotgun?

TEN GUAGE

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Maybe Picard wouldn’t have this problem
πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cparara1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Ensign: Captain Picard, can our relationship be something more than just Captain and Ensign?

Picard: Make it S.O. .

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Captain Picard have many girlfriends?

He likes to go where no man has gone before

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benasaurus_Rex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
While on shore leave, Captain Picard intends to fix a hole in his uniform the old fashioned way.

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What is Jean-Luc Picard's idea of romance?

He points at you, and says "Engage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Hoisted by his own Picard
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jedimaster4007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
🚨︎ report
I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.

The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I’d been hoisted by my own Picard.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tigger3370
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?

The Green Bay Picards.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyroundballs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If the Captain of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) were to betray one of his crew members...

would that crew member be hoisted by his own Picard?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I could decide if I wanted to watch The Next Generation or the original series...

I guess you could say I was stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stonegrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I actually submitted my own idea for a Deadpool movie.

He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.

The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
🚨︎ report
My Dad had a good one this morning.

Mom: I'm gonna go take a shower. Dad: Where are you taking it to?

I can't believe I hadn't heard that one before...

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gedunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad swoops in on Christmas.

My mom and dad got me a nice pea coat for Christmas.

Me: "wow thanks! This is nice"

Dad: "pea coat, you wouldn't believe the shit coat I got!"

[collective moans]

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClosetGinger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Christmas joke on my brother

My brother asked for weight plates for Christmas and when he opened up the box there was only one plate instead of the set of two. He made a comment to me saying that there was only one but we just joked amongst ourselves. About halfway through our gift unwrapping, my dad brings out the second weight plate from another room and thinks it is the funniest thing ever.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rustafarian7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Apparently an unaired episode of Next Generation featured a genestealer villain who tried to make evil clones of the Enterprise's crew.

they say he was hoist by his own Picard...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpacemanBates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.