And I grew strong and I learned a schoolless day is just so long. Go on now, go, walk out the door, please go to school now. 'Cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one, who each school day said goodbye? But now I think I'll crumble? And I'll lay down and die? Oh, no, not I, I will survive Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey.
Because they're scared they'll get cut down
Moofossil.
I showed my dad some petrified wood, his response was "that's funny, it doesn't look that scared to me"
Gorgonzoloft
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.
http://i.imgur.com/A5XahdJ.jpg
I showed her the post of the front page of the petrified opal tree trunks and without skipping a beat she said, β gosh, I wonder what they are so scared of?β Took me a minute to realize. She got me good.
He was petrified
... he was a petrified florist.
I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.
I was petrified
They were petrified!
... it was a pretty stone, well rounded and a smooth surface.
Dad: "This is a very special stone, you should give it to your girlfriend."
Me: "Um... OK, sure."
Dad: "Do you know what kind of stone this is?"
Me: "A river stone? No, not really..."
Dad: "They call it a 'Sex Stone'."
Me: Raises eyebrow "Oh?"
Dad: "Do you know why they call it that?"
Me: "Why?"
Dad: "Because it's just another fucking rock."
ΰ² _ΰ²
Well, I still have it on my bookshelf, and she's now my wife, so sure.
I was petrified.
Why couldnβt the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween Iβm going to write βLifeβ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy Iβm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
βHalloweenβ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Iβll be your trick if youβll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Whatβs a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A βhollow-weenie!β
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
Iβm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doβ¦ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, βA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?β The other monster replied, βBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youβre not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itβs Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iβm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italianβs eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why canβt the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyβre hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itβs Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
So my friend was burning off yard trash (controlled burn...put away your pitchforks reddit) from the lot he recently had cleared during the day. I show up at his place in the evening and we go outside to see how much debris was left. He pokes some of it with a stick and hears a hard glass sound and says, "What the heck is that?!" I lean down to look at it and reply, "I think it's petrified wood....but I have no idea what scared it." He rolled his eyes, and his 16 year old daughter laughed her ass off.
Petrified
At first, I was afraid. I was PETRIFIED
At first I was afraid. I was petrified...
At first I was afraid;
I was petrified
