I’d never heard or seen such a high note.
"I don't know what it is," I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune."
"Let's have a look," said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet.
"Ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed."
A man and a woman are sitting in a bar. After some time, the woman notices that the man has not looked in her direction once. Curious, she asks the man if he would like to buy her a drink.
Playing coy the man responds, "Ma'am, you are beautiful indeed, but are you talented as well?"
Feeling flirty, the woman takes a cherry from the bar and puts it in her mouth, stem and all. Within seconds she swallows the cherry, spits out the seed, and reveals the stem, tied in a perfect knot.
The man chuckles. Without another word he picks up a cherry and pulls off the stem. He puts the stem in his mouth, and pounds the rest of his beer in one gulp, revealing and empty mouth to the woman.
Perplexed, the woman asks, "Is that supposed to impress me?"
Confidently, the man replies, "Indeed I do believe it will."
She laughs and says, "It will? Are you shitting me?"
He responds, "I shit you knot."
My brother was describing the game Plague, inc. to my dad this morning. Here's how it went down:
Brother: So in this game, you have to make a disease, choose all of its characteristics, and then try to infect as many people in the world as possible.
Dad: That's kind of sick
Many groans were had by all.
Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.
>Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano?
>Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days.
>Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.
He wemt to his mum, who was doing work, and asked, "mum, whats the first letter of the alphabet?"
Mum: Shut up and go away!
Kid goes to his dad, who just got a perfect score in darts, and says: Dad, whats the second letter of the alphabet?
Dad: 180!!
Walks to older brother who was playing batman video games: whats the third letter of the alphabet?
Brother: na na na na na na na na BATMAN!
Walks up to younger brother playing with toys: whats the 4th letter of the alphabet?
Brother: driving my little red car.
Kid rolls up to school, ready to recite the first 4 letters of the alphabet.
Teacher: whats the first letter?
Kid: Shut up and go away!!
Teacher: HOW MANY HOURS OF DETENTION DO YOU WANT
Kid: 180!!
Teacher: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Kid: na na na na na na na na BATMAN
Teacher: HOW DO YKU THINK YOULL GET AWAY WITH THIS?!?
Kid: Driving my little red car
Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.
Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.
What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because it’s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds it’s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I don’t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasn’t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, I’ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if you’re traveling with another couple, I’m sure they’ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.
The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesn’t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p
... keep reading on reddit ➡Sitting in a lecture I was playing with a piece of paper, crushing to a vague bowl shape, which I subsequently placed on my knee so that it looked kind of like a little hat. My friend leans over and picks it up, but then puts it back, saying, "It fits perfectly."
So I lean back and whisper in his ear,
"That's because it's a knee cap."
Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor. Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano? Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days. Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.
