CΓ³mo se llaman los paΓ­ses del Medio Oriente que no se pueden encontrar?

DΓ³ndestan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drone_bandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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My sexual orientation was on layaway.

Bi now; gay later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leoncroi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2022
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I missed orientation day at Fight Club

But so far I'm having a blast, Fight Club is a seriously underrated opportunity and I'm surprised more people aren't talking about it. I'd recommend a lot of people join Fight Club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GameSpection
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2022
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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Really should have taken this pic in Landscape orientation
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2021
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What is the difference between a white man and an oriental window sealer? (Let's see if this works)

One is a Caucasian, the other is a Caulk Asian. (Please don't hit me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FitTucker0513
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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What do teachers and Object Oriented Programming have in common?

they all have classes.

(As a programmer, I'll use this one on my son)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-brax_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2021
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Why do oriental people often trip over their laces?

They only Taiwan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2021
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New to reddit. How do I flip the orientation to where everything isn't upside down?
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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I was so proud of my son

He’s 18 and he got a job sandblasting for the summer to save for school. The manager was talking to him during safety orientation and said β€œ so sandblasting? That should be fun”. He responded β€œyeah it should be a blast” He said he got a groan and an eye roll then told me off for being contagious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Julitacanchita
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2022
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Can I express the right orientation?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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I asked my Scottish dad if he likes Oriental food...

... and where he likes to get it from?

He said, Och Asian Alley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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What do you call a pansexual who makes fun of his own sexual orientation and enjoys it?

A punsexual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/This-Is-De-Wae
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Not mine. But always makes me giggle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alca87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooterholland
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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Oh Dusty.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/galacticgoosebump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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There was this tramp…

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.

He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.

"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.

"I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FancyAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2022
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I heard a rumour Cadbury have created a new oriental chocolate bar..

Could be a chinese Wispa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eam2646
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My local oriental takeaway got closed down because they found canine meat.

Shame I thought it was the dogs bollocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gunganfalacio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Amazing dad joke at university orientation

I'm running a booth at an orientation fair at a major university in the south. New out of state student and his dad come up and introduce themselves.

Me: "So, how did you end up in the south?"

Dad: "We drove."

Me: "No, I mean what brought you down here?"

Straight-faced dad: "The car."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maciej88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2014
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I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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It was super hot when I went to orientation in college

I gotta say, it was quite the warm welcoming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epicface227
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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If you spin an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become disoriented?

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinteln
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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Explaining serial orientation to dad (not me)

http://m.imgur.com/KilTm4j

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axodious
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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I'm going to start a Hunter Thompson oriented accessory brand.

Gonna call it Gear and Clothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmattyc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times,

does he become disoriented?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Too_MuchWhiskey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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If a business segregated people by sexual orientation, there would inevitably be a homo-side there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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What’s your sexual orientation if you loved mashed chickpeas?

A hummusexual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhijani97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
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Double dad joked at orientation

So I was at orientation for my new job yesterday. There's 2 people there from the company, and 4 of us new people.

After the orientation is done...

Guy next to me: (silences phone because it's ringing) Sorry... my dad's calling me.

Guy from company: What's he calling you? Mine normally calls me my name.

Guy next to me: That's weird! I thought your name was Mike! Nice to meet you, my name!

Both of them both start to crack. I nearly snort what's left of my kit kat up my nose because I started laughing and the other 3 people there are shaking their heads slowly at us.

Side note: both of them are dads and in their 30's. I'm 21, and not a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quixotic_Ryan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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My daughter got a job in Seoul

She's very Korea orientated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwijaha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2021
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So I signed up for an orienteering course in a Polish resort...

It was in a dense forest, and the instructor was waiting for me when I arrived. I pulled out my compass, but he laughed and shook his head. "That won't work here, you know," he said, pointing at my compass. "What do you mean?" I asked, "This is an orienteering course, isn't it?" "Ja, it is an orienteering course, but you can a compass not use." I was very puzzled at this point, and I questioned, "Why?" "There are too many Poles."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockybond
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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Driving past a BI-Mart, my dad quickly chirped up by saying, "Huh, this grocery store has no sexual orientation."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingerBeady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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At job orientation: "Are there any minors here?"

"No, i think we're all cashiers here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SultanRony
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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Why is Kim Jong-un's library so big ?

Because he is supreme reader

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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KID : "DAD , make me a sandwich".

DAD : "poof , you are now a sandwich"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unesb
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What is a Rubix Cube’s favorite part of college?

Orientation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonprewett
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I meant to go east

But I went west on occident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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My friend got a job in Seoul

Yeah, he's very Korea Oriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwijaha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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What's the best object-oriented way go to become wealthy?

Inheritance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BabyDoge_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2021
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A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".

I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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My friend invited me to his house to see his new Oriental rug.

Turns out it was a toupee made in China.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I once signed up for an orientation course.

But I got lost on the way there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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