On Reading Puns

I can’t seem to put it down.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

It was written by Francis Near.

[removed]

It's non friction.

I can't put it down!

So far it has been impossible to put down.

"I'm measuring your patience!"

But I wasn't really Inuit.

“It’s long story,” replies the father.

The Owl Jizz Era News.

I have to say it was absolutely riveting.

That book is really remarqueable.

I immediately decided to give up reading

Then again, I never was that into currant affairs.

One falls off, the one still on the branch asked “are you OK?”

The one the ground said “I’ll live”

But a manual can't do experience justice

I couldn't put it down.

Me: I want to be well e-quipped.

But no pun-in-ten-did

I was Hooked

...by Shaun Daly.

I was reading Open by Andre Agassi when he came in the room and said, "To save time you can just open the back cover and read the "About the author" section." Facepalm

That makes me a literacist

She read out the last sentence that said "If you have any information, please contact owner."

My dad just muttered under his breath "That's a funny name."

You don't want to have to pay Roman charges. It could lead to some bad Acts.

Dad: 8 across, postman struggling up hill. Me: how many letters? Dad: loads, that's why he's struggling!

I couldn't put it down

I can’t put it down.

...it’s impossible to put down.

I just can't seem to put it down.

It’s impossible to put down

Its impossible to put down!

It’s impossible to put down!

I couldn't put it down.

i just can't seem to put it down

I couldn’t put it down

Its impossible to put down

It's impossible to put down

Just can't put it down!