Oceans 8

But what did they eat?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PM_ME_DRUMSETS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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The time I was foolishly challenged to a dad-joke off.

I am well known among my friends as a Pungeon Master, but my brother foolishly decided to challenge me.

We went back and forth for a while, the theme ocean/fish puns. Finally, I busted out the nuclear strike that caused him to literally get up and walk away.

Me: Why are fish all atheists?

Brother: Why?

Me: Cause they're all, "Ick, theology."

Silent, he stood, left the restaurant and drove off. He was my ride T-T

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Codoro
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01 2016
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I wonder

How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mikethelabguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My wife asked me to sync her phone

So I threw it in the ocean.. don't know why she is so mad

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mrjaxson1111
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Iโ€™ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately.

Iโ€™ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately. How can I tell? When I see that the Tide is High.

Donโ€™t know if this counts as a dad joke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Papa_G_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Why does the ocean roar?

Youโ€™d roar too if you had crabs on your bottom!

-Every time my grandpa saw the ocean.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GunslingerMykul
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?

It keeps the oceans tidy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/linknoid
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Verbatim account of a conversation with my son at breakfast this morning that makes me feel like Iโ€™m dadding well:

Son: โ€œI hate crumbs.โ€

Me: โ€œThatโ€™s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.โ€

Son: โ€œWell I donโ€™t want to eat them.โ€

Me: โ€œAnd they donโ€™t want to eat you.โ€

Son: โ€œCrumbs canโ€™t eat anything, Dad. They donโ€™t have a mouth and they canโ€™t swallow things inside them.โ€

Me: โ€œWhat if thereโ€™s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and itโ€™s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? Iโ€™d say it just got eaten.โ€

Son: โ€œAnd Iโ€™d say youโ€™re ducking weird.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryLastBison
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered.

The ocean keeps its sea crits.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Did you know...

There are more airplanes in the ocean, than submarines in the sky?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SlytherRedd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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My date asked, "Do you have family in another country?"

"Yes," I replied, "unless they're in the ocean."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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The quandary of the Sea Cucumber.

So, the Sea cucumber is always in salt water, always in the brine. It spends years in the ocean. Being salted. So why isnโ€™t it a sea pickle?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ginkoleano
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Fascinate

A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.

โ€œGood morning class, today weโ€™ll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?โ€

Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. โ€œThe stars last night were fascinating.โ€

Teacher looks at her and says,โ€Close, I want you to use the word Fascinate.โ€

A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,โ€Iโ€™m fascinated by the ocean and itโ€™s creatures.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s still not the answer Iโ€™m looking for.โ€ The teacher says. โ€œCan anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.โ€

A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,โ€My grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LiCill666
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Why did the octopus blush?

It just saw the bottom of the ocean.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlankPhotos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Fun Fact

There are more aeroplanes at the bottom of the ocean than there are submarines in the sky

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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We were building a sandcastle on an Oregon beach...

And a big wave snuck up on us. We ran quickly, leaving behind a shovel. I exclaimed โ€œthe ocean took your shovel!โ€

My son: โ€œWhich one?โ€

โ€œ...Well, the Pacific...โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cryogenicist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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My friend was talking about how he found a box of shotgun shells in his desk

I asked him if he could hear the ocean in them

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nessnesn64
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Why did the fish blush?

He saw the oceans bottom

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tannerac4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What do you call a group of sensitive water masses?

'Em Oceans

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LemeeAdam
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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We are standing at Depoe Bay, Oregon watching the whales. I point at a bird (ironically), โ€œlook Patty, a seagull!โ€ My wife replies, โ€œno, itโ€™s a bagel.โ€ โ€œWhy is it a bagel?โ€ โ€œBecause itโ€™s over the BAY!โ€ Thatโ€™s pretty funny, but...

The thing is she didnโ€™t just make up this joke, but this is the first time Iโ€™ve heard it. Weโ€™ve been married for 18 years. That means that sheโ€™s been waiting for 18 years until we were near the ocean, at a bay, waiting for a seagull to fly over. The dad joke is above average, but statistically speaking, she has my respect 100%.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MahonriWY
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cooterholland
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2015
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Whereโ€™s the best beach to buy sports gear at?

Jersey Shore

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Best ocean to play sports in?

The Golf of Mexico

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ashtehstampede
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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A horse is sitting at home watching MTV

A horse is sitting at home, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the horse. "I'm a horse."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach horses. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the horse gets really good at the guitar and he can play that amazing solo. He wants to show his friends, so he picks up the phone and calls chicken.

"Hey Chicken, come over!" he says. Chicken comes over, watches horse play the guitar and thinks it's pretty cool. Chicken watches the music video and says "hey, that drum part is pretty cool, I want to learn to play that."

Chicken goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play the drums." Says the chicken.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the chicken. "I'm a chicken."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach chickens. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the chicken gets really good and begins to jam with the horse. Eventually, they think that something's missing. They watch the video again and realize they need a bass guitarist. They call their friend Cow and show them what they've been up to. Cow thinks it's pretty cool, and wants to learn how to play the bass guitar.

Cow goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play bass guitar." Says the cow.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the cow. "I'm a cow."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach cows. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the cow gets really good at the bass and the animals have a nice band going.

One day, while they're practicing, a man walks by and hears them. He goes up to the animals and says "hey, you guys are pretty good! I'm from a record label, I'd like to sign you!"

The band records an album, puts out some singles and becomes a massive success.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GreatDekuTree3
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Two ships collided in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Two ships collided in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. One was carrying red paint and one was carrying blue paint. The crews of both ships were marooned.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Intagvalley
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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Need sea-themed christmas puns

Anything to do with fish or the ocean please! I haven't sea-n any reely good ones yet

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sazul
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Nihilist Dad Jokes

Why did the scarecrow win a prize? Because he stood alone in his field! He stood there for years, rotting, until he was forgotten.

I tell my kids, youโ€™re allowed to watch the TV all you wantโ€ฆ Just donโ€™t turn it on! This way they will begin to understand the futility of all things.

How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. Like all animals, it is an automaton, driven by blind genetic imperative, marching slowly to oblivion.

Why donโ€™t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with them! The skeletons are like us: alone, empty, dead already.

I donโ€™t really like playing soccer. I just do it for kicks! Like all of humanity, I pretend to enjoy things, and others pretend to care about my charade.

You hear about the moon restaurant? Good food, no atmosphere! If you eat there, you forfeit your life, which would make no difference to the universe as a whole.

Why did the blonde focus on an orange juice container? It said concentrate! She realized that societyโ€™s depictions of her were like the juice: formulaic, insipid, fake.

My wife told me to put the cat out. I didnโ€™t know it was on fire! By the time I could act, it was incinerated, a harbinger of the path we all must take.

How come the invisible man wasnโ€™t offered a job? They just couldnโ€™t see him doing it! This man stands for all of us: unseen, misunderstood, irrelevant.

Today I gave away my old batteriesโ€ฆ Free of charge! No one wanted them, so I became angry and threw them in the yard. The battery acid now leaks into the soil, killing a colony of ants. A sparrow eats their bodies and is poisoned. Somewhere in the Serengeti, a lion devours his rivalโ€™s cubs. Then the lion is shot by a poacher and sold to an unloved rich man whose father was an unloved rich man. In five billion years, the Sun will become a bloated giant, boiling the oceans and consuming our pointless cruelties with flames. I wake sweat-drenched and screaming, staring at the visage of a faceless god. โ€œWHAT HAVE I DONE?! HOW COULD I BRING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD!?โ€ But this god, like all gods, is nothingโ€”just my sonโ€™s Wilson baseball mitt, sitting on my dresser, mocking me.

Will February March? No, but April May! Soon we become ash, and time forgets us.

Source: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/nihilist-dad-jokes

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vorschlaghammer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Yesterday I witnesseded a very odd behaviour of a shark, it just swam beside other fish without any intention to harm it

I think it followed ocean's ethical cod.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Oded_Gendelman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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NEW!! Celebrity Fun in the Pun candle line!

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup oโ€™ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy Sโ€™more - Sโ€™mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the โ€œI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?โ€ joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. Iโ€™m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Minnara
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Fishy..

Trying to come up with a joke based on fish polluting the ocean by pooping in it. Haven't come up with anything but the punch line yet. Bass turds!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VolkRevel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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How do earthโ€™s continents shift?

In slowm-ocean

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pungunner98
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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The Wong and White wedding

While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Need an ark? I Noah guy

Need a government administration for the ocean and atmosphere? I NOAA guy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tsz3290
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Our Hero

Our hero is rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero lives in Marree, South Australia. He hears about a job opportunity in Darwin, so goes to his car to drive the 3,100 ks to Darwin. One problem, his car won't start.

This is no problem for our hero, because he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He walks to Darwin.

When he gets there, the bosses love him, and offer him the job on the spot.

"One problem," they say "The job is in Cape Town, and all air traffic has been halted because of the cyclones"

No problem for our hero. He's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero gets on the boat to travel the 11,000 ks to Cape Town.

Not far into the journey, the boat hits a storm and capsizes. No problems for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He starts swimming.

In the open ocean, a container ship spots him, and offers to help.

"One problem," the captain says over the loud speaker, "There's no rope".

No problem for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He scales the side of the ship bare-handed.

A few days later, they're attacked by pirates. One problem, he's unarmed and outnumbered

No problem for our hero as he is rough, he is tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero valiantly defends himself, gets some weapons, and is defending the bridge from all attackers.

He fights off the captain of the pirates, and deals him a mortal blow. One problem, the captain in his death throws, pushes our hero off the bridge, and he plummets towards the deck.

No problem for our hero as he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PoglaTheGrate
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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My wife asked me to sync her phone, so

I threw it into the ocean. I don't know why she's mad at me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Yeossin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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How much water is on earth?

Enough to fill an ocean.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eoussama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What did a surfer say to the ocean?

Nothing. They waved along with the ocean.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/person_from_yt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Where do you get C batteries?

From the ocean.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SGTasseater69
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2019
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The ocean

The ocean is what i came to sea.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MeanSalad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Why did the octopus blush?

Because she saw the oceans bottom.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/twindadlife
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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