My boyfriend is a first time father. I am not. He admits he has no idea how breastfeeding works but tells me “your body made this milk just for the baby so why would you not use it?”
I told him about my traumatic experience with my first child who I tried to breastfeed; my milk didn’t come in right away and nobody noticed or tried to help till baby was starving. I let my daughter stay in the nursery while I was in the hospital and they kept bringing her to me demanding I feed her. When I tried to put her on my breast, nothing came out. I told nurses this and they just told me to “try harder”. Baby ultimately had to be fed a bottle from the hospital after 2 days trying to suck air from my nipple. Horrible experience. My milk finally came in a week later just to stop coming in 3 months later. I was pumping and storing milk. Everything was great, she was latching good and it just stopped. They don’t tell you/admit to you that your body might have problems breast feeding, no, they just smile and say “oh you didn’t try hard enough/keep trying and the milk will come back”. They push breastfeeding agenda onto EVERYONE and make EVERYONE feel like shit if they aren’t Betty homemaker with large jugs filled with milk ready for your baby to eat.
I’m not dealing with it this time. I’ve told people from jump I’m formula feeding. At first, I hid it because I didn’t want people to push breastfeeding onto me and talk to me about my traumatic experience but I don’t even hide it anymore; it’s my body and I could do whatever I want with it. I told my bf my story and he goes “at least she was breastfeed for 3 months. Who cares if the milk stopped?” I did, at 20 years old. I was overwhelmed and felt like a failure because I couldn’t give my baby “liquid gold” and had to “settle” with formula. FORMULA IS NOT SETTLING. A FED BABY IS BEST!
As a STM, my mindset has completely changed. I am formula feeding right out the gate. Im legally prescribed medical marijuana in my state for PTSD and will resume taking my THC capsules as soon as he’s out of me to solidify the fact that I can’t and WILL NOT breastfeed my son. If any nurse bothers me, I will let them know I’m on medication that prevents me from giving him untainted milk and that should be the end of it.
Mothers, stand your ground. Do not let the world, family, friends, boyfriends, husbands or the internet tell you that you MUST breastfeed. I almost folded and agreed to breastfeed for a week and I’m gla
... keep reading on reddit ➡Disclaimer: written last night while waiting for the ball to drop. <3
Well friends, 2021 is coming to an end. This has been one of the hardest years of my life emotionally and professionally - and that was before we lost Betty White today...
More than once I've wanted to throw in the towel and walk away from nursing entirely. More times than I can count I've been disgusted and disappointed by my fellow humans. I'm tired. Bone tired. The kind of tiredness that only happens when you literally have nothing left to give. I know that many others are right there with me. Still, we all dug in and in a few hours, we will have officially dragged ourselves over the finish line.
This was a year of discovery and disappointment. A year of reflection and revision. A year of sadness and speculation. A year of advancement and affirmation. A year of incredible selflessness and yet still great selfishness. A year of trials and tests that we never could have imagined just a few years ago.
Through it all, one of the only things keeping me afloat has been a concept introduced to me earlier this year by emotions researcher Dr. Brené Brown. Since I first heard her mention the Stockdale Paradox, it has become my liferaft.
Admiral James Stockdale was the highest-ranking military officer imprisoned at the "Hanoi Hilton" prisoner of war camp during the Vietnam War. He was held prisoner for EIGHT YEARS and was tortured while having no release date or promise of a future of freedom. Admiral Stockdale was eventually released on February 12, 1973 during Operation Homecoming and returned home barely able to stand and walk.
After his release, Admiral Stockdale wrote a book with his wife chronicling his eight-year imprisonment from both of their perspectives. Jim Collins, a business management researcher, interviewed Admiral Stockdale after reading his book. Collins asked him pointedly how he survived such torture and uncertainty. Admiral Stockdale replied that he "never lost faith in the end of the story" and that he "never doubted that not only would I get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life". Collins reports staying silent for many minutes, thinking over the Admiral's words. Finally, he asked, "Who didn't make it out?"
Admiral Stockdale replied "Oh, that's easy. The optimists."
Collins was confused and asked Admiral Stockdale to elaborate.
Admiral Stockdale replied "Oh, they [the optimists] were the o
... keep reading on reddit ➡I’m older, large (stomach makes bra bands roll; when sitting, bras bands/wires press into my stomach and cause great discomfort; and I have lots of under-armpit tissue to scoop/swoop), inflexible (v hard for me to fasten bra in back these days - although might be good flexibility practice - and front closure bras always popped open unexpectedly YIKES so stopped trying those). I am also quite sweaty.
I used to wear a cacique 46C although the cups always wrinkled and I now know that was a super wrong size. Got really sick in 2011 and gave up on wearing anything but jockey cotton pullover bras with inserts (or “cookies” as they insist on calling them). ABTF has given me an education and hope that I can wear a “normal” bra (at least sometimes) that gives the girls some shape and might contribute to me feeling more “put together” at work.
Here are my ABTF Measurements: 42.5 41.5 39.5 48.5 50 48 Output: 40G UK Breastfed one human See link below for pics of the mammillary glands in bras to see shape, projection, root, etc.
Armed with this info I Ordered a bunch of wired (and a few wireless bras) from panache, Elomi, sculptress, goddess, and even some nursing bras (since they may be more absorbent/help with my sweat). I chose styles recommended from this awesome subreddit and the bratabase. I unfortunately ordered the same size in many different styles rather than a few sizes in one or two styles (I will know better next time!) How did they fit? Not well. The 40 was way way too tight, even when I tried just the band backwards/cups upside down like all y’all recommend. They all are going back.
It was a useful experience though. Seemed like Elomi would be better for me and my larger size, so I ordered two styles one in a 42FF (since I remembered sister sizing) and another in 44FF (since I forgot about sister sizing). Hey I’m human. Pictures here: https://imgur.com/a/3bJUXJ9 Show fit in Elomi Matilda (underwire, 42FF) and Cate (wireless, 44FF)
Matilda band was not too tight but I have such limited flexibility (which I do think will get better) that I had to put it on backwards and rotate it which I know is awful for bras. (I guess I could use an extender until I gain more flexibility to put it on, but I know that will influence the fit. ) Good news: the cups seemed to fit and the gore was flush - don’t think I ever have had that happen! However the band rolled up on my back due to fat tissue and the wires poked into my armpit fat (yes I scoop/swoop). A
... keep reading on reddit ➡