Numitor Puns

I just bought the new Codex and there is a new captain for the 8th company. The name Numitor pretty much disappeared and I can't find what happened to him. The name doesn't even show up on 1d4chan and only gets a short mention on Lexicanum.

He seemed like a good guy judging from a few excerpts I read on this sub.

Name: Ander Aeschylus Numitor the 3rd

Age: 24

Race: Human

Class: Shadowcaster

Alignment: Neutral Good

Occupation: For Hire Mercenary/Bounty Hunter/Bodyguard(With fairly cheap prices to help the little guy)

Appearance: Ander is a pale skinned man, with dark hair and deep purple eyes, strong features, sharp nose, chiseled jaw, high cheekbones. He stands at about 6’1, and has a lean physique, that toned. Being a noble means he usually has to be presentable at all times, but on his journeys he stuck to wearing clothes that are presentable yet wearable in combat. A fine dark robe lined with velvet and silver, custom made armor with the crest of House Numitor on the chest plate. The crest is that of a Raven in front of an hour glass. The hour glass is imprinted on the moon surrounded by dark clouds. His light armor is dark with silver detail around the edge. He wears clothes of nobility underneath, accented with red flair. When Ander is using his Shadowcaster abilities, dark energy floats of his hands and eyes.

Background: Ander was born to Ander Aeschylus Numitor the 2nd and Suzette Numitor. They were astonished by his purple eyes, as his father’s eyes only turned purple when he used his shadow abilities gained from a dark tome, long forgotten to time. He is betrothed to one Jessamine Silverfang, their marriage arranged by his parents and hers. At a young age Ander exhibited the shadow abilities without the use of his father’s tome, showing that the abilities had been passed down genetically. Though with the tome Ander’s abilities are increased, his prowess without it astonishing. Ander trained with his father for many years up until the age of 10, when his father disappeared along with what appeared to be another Shadowcaster in a whirlwind of dark magic.

Years passed, and Ander’s Uncle had taken over as head of the family, leading their small valley. During this time Ander has grown, and on his 18th birthday, when he was to become head of the family, an elven man came forward and accused Ander’s mother of murdering his father, and used Ander himself as an accomplice. So Ander and his mother fled into hiding with the head of his Uncle. As soon as he was sure of his mother’s safety, Ander set out in search of his father as well as the Shadowcaster who took him, setting out on a grand journey that would lead him to his destiny and purpose.

Personality: Ander is a very proper man. Raised in nobility, he shows his belief in trust and respect, feeing very

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.