Newsfeed Puns

http://imgur.com/VGs0VFS

Suspicious link

It's either pictures of birds or things like these:

"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He ate pizza way before it was cool!"

"I heard they found that girl Amber who was missing." (There was an Amber alert in MD that day)

"Know what happens when you take "the" out of psychotherapist."

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."

"Six more weeks of winter isn't so bad when you consider the official first day of spring is seven weeks away."

"At first, I hated the speed bump they put in my front street... But I'm slowly getting over it."

"Why is it impossible for a horse to major in philosophy? You can't put DeCartes before the horse!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank gourmet coffee before it was cool."

"Q. How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Fish"

"I was going to take all of my old watches and hook them together to make a belt... But then I realized that would be a waist of time."

"Why all the fuss about the Redskins changing their name.

Just change the mascot to a Potato.

Then it's not only un-offensive but delicious."

"I think the NSA is spying on me. They're leavesdropping in my yard."

Bonus picture status

So my 11 year old daughter was having trouble opening a jar of grape jelly and asked for my help. I took it and got it open after a bit of a struggle, and said...."Wow, that lid was really JAMMED on there." I got a world class eye roll out of her.

Me: "Where even is Sociedad?" Dad: "I don't know son, I've never been to Socie" He was like http://i.imgur.com/EAf5il.png and I was like http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg and my mum was like http://media0.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/giphy.gif

I'm a deaf man and I communicate via a combination of American Sign Language and English spoken language. My niece and I were sitting at a restaurant enjoying ourselves when she looks at me and signs, "I'm so glad I know sign language. It's really handy!"

I actually facepalmed on this one for the second time when it came up in my newsfeed yesterday. I'm such a proud uncle.

http://i.imgur.com/4T3awam.jpg

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/512/447/417.png

http://24.media.tumblr.com/097ab89f865a7f061f15edc795c136dc/tumblr_mxcqbqQk3I1rc4b8ho8_500.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Qjsyzh0.jpg

http://www.reddit.com/r/HeyCarl/