What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rumblebully
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Von_Bostaph
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'd ruther not say
๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Un_FaZed211
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Rational
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zayan-ali
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jzagri
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Moplex1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tieyz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LaBarbaGuapa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/give_me_my_identity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mediashiznaks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Gottemm
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Un_FaZed211
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
so many choices
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SailorNebula
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
He knows too much
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Potato_salad123
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Well that didn't cross my mind
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awesome_smokey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
3.14159265387279 snek
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theimmortalmeluhan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasnโ€™t expecting this!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/motherduck5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Rock bottom
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Theo19555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I never really understood why it was spelled: camouflage

and not:

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hypeaze
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I threw up in the toilet
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/exotic_butters1275
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Hot
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlexxFruit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Haidi7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication

Itโ€™s for Hispanic attacks

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/monolocomotive
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Had a good chuckle
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LittleBigOwl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Unholy_Jer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smoffatt34920
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didnโ€™t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BritishTeeth11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, โ€œIโ€™ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?โ€

He said, โ€œChange the batteries in your hearing aidโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BritishTeeth11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Air and space museum
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/romroming
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eamonn_russell
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I have been asking everyone what LGBTQ is?

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awesumit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is your favourite breakfast food?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FabricioPezoa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Oh the tangled web we weave ...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RogueDisciple
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '

Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a mom who turns into a dad?

Transparent

(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)

(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bangtan_Pikachu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™ve got a condition which causes me to make terrible puns.

Itโ€™s a dad-ly disease.

Happy Fatherโ€™s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldnโ€™t mean a thing ๐Ÿ˜‰

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WonderChell
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.