My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures

Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on

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👤︎ u/Mudkipfan
📅︎ Mar 26 2021
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Conversations about mythical creatures can sometimes drag on
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📅︎ Oct 31 2020
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Who is the imposter in a game of AMONG US among mythical characters?

Pega-sus.

Hey. Don't say Je's-looking-Sus bro

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📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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Told my kids about a mythical creature...

...The Redone D'ant.

It's a creature the size of an ant. But it has the head of an ant, the body of an ant, and the legs of another ant. It's half ant, half other ant.

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👤︎ u/STK1369
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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Why are mythical beings with the body of a horse always so proud?

They're always at the centaur lf attention.

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📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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What do you call mythical cheese?

Legend dairy

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📅︎ Aug 08 2019
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What do you call a mythical creature with a cold?

Achoopacabra

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📅︎ Feb 16 2019
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I was rubbing a lamp containing fermented soya beans and suddenly a mythical creature popped up and started making sexist remarks against women.

Miso-Genie.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Sep 16 2019
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What ancient, mythical creature do middle-aged women hate most?

The Menopausus

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👤︎ u/Cicoontour
📅︎ Mar 22 2019
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What do you call a mythical tsundere? A Chew-ba-ba-baka ...

I regret nothing :p

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👤︎ u/AcerVentus
📅︎ Aug 05 2018
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Have you heard about the mythical milk?

It was legend dairy.

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📅︎ Jun 12 2018
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Dad went mythical on me.

I started running a few weeks ago and since my dad is one of my biggest supporters, I had to tell him about my progress when he called today:

Me: "So, I went for my longest run yet, today. I feel fine now, but I'll probably be mighty sore tomorrow."

Dad: "You'll be a Norse god tomorrow?"

Me: ?????

Dad: "Mighty Thor."

dad laughter ensues

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📅︎ Jan 07 2014
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Link in park
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📅︎ Apr 20 2019
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My 3 year old was hauling his T-Rex by the tail

Since its a big, it was touching the ground my whole time. I turn to my wife and say "Did you know T-Rex are mythical beasts? See it's a draggin'"

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📅︎ Jun 29 2019
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

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👤︎ u/Dralnu22
📅︎ Sep 13 2016
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My dad texts me from work

My dad supplies the swords and weaponry to medieval times.

Dad:This day is just like a very large, magical and mythical reptile.

Me: How so

Dad: It's a dragon

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👤︎ u/Danielj32
📅︎ Aug 15 2014
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Got my buddy over pool

Even though we've been out of college for years, my fraternity pledge son and I still get together every week to play some pool. This week, we were discussing werewolves and where they fit in the mythical creature hierarchy.

"Werewolves are obviously the best," he says.

"That makes sense you'd like them," I reply. "You're like halfway one already."

"Oh, is it because of this?" he asks, gesturing toward his hair, his beard, his hairy chest.

"No, cause you're a human when the moon's not full."

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👤︎ u/xuol
📅︎ May 31 2015
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