Holmes: Is that mud on your boots, Watson?
Watson: No. Shit, Sherlock.
what do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in mud and crosses the road again?
Where do Wasps come from?
Why did dad's coffee taste like mud?
Because it was fresh ground
Me: Excuse me waiter, this coffee tastes like mud."
Waiter: "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
The ground smells like dirt, and hogs smell like mud, but how do groundhogs smell?
With their noses just like everyone else.
Happy Groundhog Day!
My brother doesn't allow me to tell mud jokes to his children.
He says these jokes are too dirty for kids
I was going to tell a dad joke about dirt and mud.
But too many people on this sub are complaining about dirty jokes!
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A horse fell in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke?
It rained.
There was an artist who lacked confidence in his own talent.
He thought it was just the luck of the draw.
I was working my job at the coffee shop when one of the customers shouted: “This coffee tastes like mud!”
“Well of course, sir,” I replied, “It’s fresh ground after all.”
A True Dad Dirty Joke
Three pigs rolled in mud.
I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud mask.
You should have seen the filthy look she gave me.
Whenever we visited my Grampa's dairy farm, there'd be mud and cowpats everywhere, and my Dad would say, "I love dairy farms! Look at the dairy barn, and the dairy cows, and...
"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"
If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<
Told the waitress my coffee tasted like mud.
"It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "
What is the after effects of eating Taco Bell called?
Did you hear about the guy who was promoted at Old McDonald Farm?
I'd tell you a dirty joke.
But I am afraid you might soil yourself.
What did the person with a water fetish say?
Boy, last night's rain really made me wet!
Water and Mud once took each other to court.
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!
Yes sir, it's fresh ground!
EDIT: taken from Jokeriot
Hamming it up a little with this one.
When is being ankle deep in mud worse than being waist deep?
What’s the difference between a mud man and a mud woman?
I know people put mud on their faces for various benefits but I saw a sign the other day that said sewage treatment works
I used to be addicted to soap
Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:
"No it's not, it's MUNday!"
The apprentice has now become the master.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
“Waiter, this coffee tastes like MUD!”
“Oh really? Well, it was GROUND this morning.”
This morning I crossed the road, changed a lightbulb, and walked into a bar.
I think my life is turning into a joke
What do you do when you get your toe stuck in the mud?
“Hey Watson, is that mud on your boots?”
This coffee tastes like mud!
Indeed, it is fresh ground!
“Hey, Watson, is that mud on your shoes?”
Why did the coffee taste like mud?
Because it was just ground this morning
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud?"
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
This coffee tastes like mud!
Well, it is fresh ground.
Why did the coffee taste like mud?
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
Holmes: "Is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"
Holmes: "Is that comforter on your bed?" Watson: "No, sheet, Sherlock"
Holmes: "Is that a long note on your desk?" Watson: "No, chit, Sherlock"
Holmes: "Is that your residence?" Watson: "No, shed, Sherlock"
I was surprised when the coffee I ordered tasted just like mud.
The barista told me it was fresh ground.
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, and cross the road again?
It was a dirty double crosser.
I ordered a coffee at the local diner and though it tasted like mud.
Turns out it was fresh ground.
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!
Waiter: But it was ground this morning.
Why did the chicken cross the road roll in the mud and then cross back over the road
Because he was a dirty double crosser
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