My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
The local bartender moved his pub to the summit of a mountain and the quality of his drinks improved
He really raised the bar on that one
I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
My wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.
I was all set to become one of the worlds greatest mountain climbers.
But then I peaked too early.
“So what’s it like living in the mountains?”
It’s got it’s ups and downs
Why mountains are funny?
Because they are hill areas
I was really mad when our local pub decided to hang all their dartboards from the ceiling.
It really makes me want to throw up.
Mountain jokes are always the funniest
Because they're peak comedy
"Fool me once - I'm mad. Fool me twice - How could you? Fool me three times - You're officially that guy, okay?"
My wife gets mad at me when I check other women
She thinks I need to take it easy on them when playing chess.
My wife got really mad at me for stabbing a vampire to death today
I guess I was supposed to give them candy because it’s “Halloween”
March Madness from my 3 year old
How did you know the basketball game was in trouble?
Because it was in timeout!
This mountain just installed a new CPU and processor into his pc.
It's now running on peak performance
Which mountains have the best nuts?
When do Egyptians go mad?
I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.
Must've been Mount Heiferest.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
...I don’t have time for this crap!
Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"
What's the difference between a gymnast jaguar, and a meth-head mountain lion?
One is an acrobatic cat.
The other is a broke, addict cat.
Why did they build the university on a mountain?
It was a place of higher learning.
Do you ever think that potatoes get mad because…
Do songbirds get mad at hummingbirds.....
Because they don't know the words?
The creator of Mad Libs passed away
His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, it’s between Iraq and a hard place.
Wife (madly tapping at phone): my sound is not working
Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine
I asked my friend to stop making Harry Potter puns and she got really mad
'Siriusly?' she said, 'what is Ron with you?'
Was Spartacus mad because the Lion ate his wife?
Math puns are the first sine of madness
When people get mad about me playing League of Legends I just
I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity
Now I have to attend manger management
My Christian wife got mad at me because adultery is a sin
But by god did I love thy neighbor
What do you call a group of sightless mountaineers?
Why was the US mad at Canada for remaining part of the commonwealth?
Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"
He'll come around eventually
Mountains are not just funny...
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
My wife’s really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
mountains arent just funny...
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,
So i packed up my stuff and right
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