I don't get why Marvel doesn't use the Hulk more in their advertising
He's basically one big Banner.
the only place with more oily birds than Antarctica is KFC
My daughter told me" If you tell one more stupid dad joke, I'm running away."
I told her "bye running away, I'm Dad."
Do you know more Coffe puns? ☕️
My 22 year old daughter bought this. I couldn’t be more proud.
Big news today: To provide more opportunities for females in all levels of the private sector, Beyoncé has founded a roofing company completely operated and managed by women.
The company name, of course, is All the Shingle Ladies.
My wife said she would divorce me if I made one more Monkees pun, but I thought she was joking.
I told my wife not to talk to me about gravity any more.
It just keeps bringing me.down.
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
How do you keep a dummy in even more suspense?
I'm not making any more assumptions about my wife!
At least, I think that's what she'd want.
Some even numbers are more important than others.
What animal is more unpredictable than a polar bear?
I can't believe it's been more than 100 years since Einstein proved time is relative.
Feels just like yesterday.
My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data.
I guess the N's justify the means.
You know what grinds my gears more than anything else?
I’ve learned how to become more powerful than everyone else.
Just make a post on Reddit. Then every time you reply Reddit will tell everyone how OP you are.
How can you tell if your dog or wife loves you more?
Lock them both in the garage for 3 hours and see who’s happiest to see you.
Why are bigger balloons more expensive?
What has more letters than the alphabet?
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
Did you know having a certain blood type makes you more optimistic?
Struggling to know more about the Punjabi religion?
What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?
Fill it with spring water.
I told my neighbor that my son with multiple degrees made more money moving boxes in a hot warehouse than he did in an office
He asked me what the degrees were in.
I said this is America, so Fahrenheit.
I've forgotten more about remembering things then you've ever...
I'm sorry what was the question?
Just got back from the doctor, he said I should drink more wine.
He actually said “less beer”, but I’m pretty sure I knew what he meant.
Which bear is more condescending
I was told to wait before posting more dad jokes
Guess they aren't fully groan yet
I need at least 17 more people to watch this movie with me…
…because it said 18+ viewers only
These lax bail laws are making criminals more bold and dangerous! Last week one of these guys even stole the toilets at the local precinct.
Right now the police have nothing to go on.
My doctor said I needed more Calsium and Iron in my diet
I need to learn more jokes about golf to annoy my kids with
Currently I only know fore
What do a number divisible by 2, a legume, a drupe and a coral outcropping all fear MORE than being buried alive?
My wife has been hinting about progressing more into the bdsm lifestyle
I told her we need to stop beating around the bush
They say if you cut a sandwich diagonally, you get more sandwich.
It’s an interesting hypotenuse, but i doubt it would hold up under rigorous toasting.
Why do some trees need more healthcare than others?
A caveman time traveled to the present, and I wanted to make him feel more at home.
So we listened to the Rolling Stones together.
Farmers that talk to their cows get more milk...
It's in one ear and out the udder.
The midwestern state above Arkansas has announced a new program to bring in more tourists.
The program is called “Missouri loves company!”
A notorious bank robber and killer Artie hits a town bank on his travels. But the bank was emptied the night before. As Artie got more and more frustrated he strangled 3 of the staff before escaping with only a single Dollar Note.
Newspapers report Artie Chokes three for a dollar!
How do you make your duck more soulful?
Put him in the oven till his bill withers
I'm not making any more assumptions about the women in my life!
At least, I think that's what they want.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
what has more letters
What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
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