If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/proweld7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
More (mediocre) OC in honor of a woman who lived a bright and colorful life. We will miss you, RBG.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeeveryoneup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Think I'm giving Halloween a miss this year...

After all, I've been munching sweeta and wearing a mask since March.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I miss Cubs baseball so much that I asked my kid to build me a super realistic Wrigley Field in Minecraft.

She did a great job, because just like the real Wrigley these days, the only seats I could afford had blocked views.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?

Oh shit, my boomerang!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Is it just me or did Kleenex miss a huge opportunity to say β€œSneeze This Moment”?
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
He made a miss steak
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fair_SOTS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I miss my SO a lot. I end up kissing and hugging thin air and she says it makes me look ridiculous. How do I recalibrate my aim? (r/fifthworldproblems) reddit.com/r/fifthworldpr…
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBadger40
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do stoners never miss a greeting?

They're always hi.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFanCorp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
RoosterTeeth employee doesn't miss a beat youtube.com/watch?v=Y_UmT…
πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zap717
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
🚨︎ report
My younger brother asked my dad why he was buying the large bananas with all the big spots on them Dad didn't miss a beat.

"So we'll have a dalmatian plantain, son."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Miss Portugal say after a whole day of not getting hurt?

I miss pain.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/llehsadam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
If "meteorite" is the term for when a meteor strikes the ground, what are they called when they miss?

Meteowrongs

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleUnderscore
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Sometimes they can be a hit or a miss.

It was just me and the old man in the house the other day, I was in my room with the door closed and my dad was out on the couch. It was pretty silent in the house when I let out a loud sneeze, "AAACCHHHOOOOO!". All of a sudden I hear my dad yell out something distorted, so I get up to see what's up.

Me: "what's that?" Dad: "you put them on your feet, right?" Me: "put what on my feet?" Dad: "a shoe! That's what your said in there, wasn't it? AA SHHOOOEE!!"

Classic dad...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaditNewb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time I miss a call from my dad.

Whenever I return a missed call from my dad this exchange goes on.

Me: Hi. Did you call me, Dad?

Dad: No, I called you Jake! Ha ha ha.

For fuck's sake.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kakerules
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Mister Information sounds like a knowledgeable guy while Miss Information sounds like a lying bitch
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whatshisuserface
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
I recently got a haircut after a year, i miss my hair, I've grown so attached to it.

I didn't stop thinking about it, I guess you could say it was on my head 24/7...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeCollin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.