My wife told me that she'd slept with 7 people before we met.
I wouldn't mind, but I was only 20 minutes late.
I met a guy doing math problems in winter
You could say he was a kind of cold and calculating guy
I recently met a man with one leg named John.
He never told me the name of his other leg.
My Mom was a Radiologist. They met when my Dad came in to get an Xray.
I wonder what she saw in him.
I met a pretty cool guy who fixed my ripped shirt.
I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".
" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.
Cute Pun To Send Someone You Just Met
During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.
I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"
He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
Met a Chinese talking goose today, I asked him from what part of China he was from.
A long time bachelor met a girl in a bar with a glass eye.
As she sat down next to him her glass eye fell to the floor next to his stoll. He picked it up and handed it back to her.
They chatted all night and hit it off pretty well and eventually started dating.
One day while lying in bed, he turns to her and asks:
"Why me? Out of all the guys that were at the bar that night, why did you choose me?"
She looked at him surprised and said:
"Well, you caught my eye."
Even though I've never met you, I know how to spell your name. Do you want to know how?
During the French Revolution thousands of people met their end with the blade of the guillotine, including King Louis XVI
He should have quit while he was a head
I met Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci
They're real good fellas!
I met Bono the other week and I said it was nice to meet him
he said "yeah, you too"
edited for spelling
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
Wow hi I've met my people on this subreddit
I met a woman outside the mall crying
She had lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I just found. When god blesses you, you must bless others.
Taken from dad jokes
First time I met a blind person
I thought that I finally met my sowl mate...
But she said I was too boar-ing.
A friend of mine planned to use balloons to propose to his internet girlfriend, but then they finally met face to face.
He immediately popped the question.
Met someone who didn't like memes.
Their existence is memeingless.
I met a dolphin the other day,
When I met my childhood bully last Friday, I was happy to learn he had double vision, because he always bullied me with my glasses. But then...
All the astronauts I've met are so bad at returning phone calls.
It's like they've fallen off the face of the earth.
I once met a woman who had 12 breasts. Sounds weird..
I met a microbiologist today
He's a lot bigger than I thought he'd be
Two brokers met on the sidewalk. "How's it going?" Said the one. "I'm fine," replied the other. "Well, gotta run," said the one. "Okay," said the other, "I'll see ya later." "All right. Bye."
I first met my wife at a fancy dress party, where I was dressed as a ghost.
I met a dog with twelve nipples.
I just met a girl named Ally
Glad to know she was on my side.
What did Sneezy say to Snow White the first time he met her?
Wow, you’re so pretty! I can’t stop looking ACHOO
I met my wife at a singles bar...
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
I had an amazing chat with a dolphin earlier who I had just met.
When REM met The Queen, she held up a stamped envelope and then said...
"That's me in the corner."
I once met a girl online with spotty service..
It was an on again-off again relationship..
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
My friend told me he once met a lady with twelve breasts. "Sounds strange," I had to tell him....
When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.
So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.
I met a microbiologist yesterday...
He was bigger than I imagined.
I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo. There he was, in his uniform...
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic..
Turns out he just needed a little space.
I once met a talking dog, and decided to ask "what do you get from a tree's outer layer?"
But it's answer was just a bark
Edit:spelling
I met a pessimistic photographer the other day...
He wouldn’t stop talking about negatives.
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in for an X-ray.
I wonder what she saw in him.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
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