It can be hard to use the name of metallic elements in a normal sentence.
Or so Iβm lead to believe.
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︎ Sep 12 2022
During Chemistry class, I learned that sulphur dioxide should never be poured into a metal container..
It's just an oxidant waiting to happen..
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︎ Jun 29 2022
Plastic. Metal. Big red. Ice. Ash. Industrial.
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︎ Sep 14 2022
What did the metal plant worker say when he was turned into a frog
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︎ Aug 04 2022
I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a raging weed and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.
So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs βWHATβS GOINβ ON?β
Edit: so happy that one of my home-made dad-jokes is so well-received :) thanks, everyone!
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︎ Mar 20 2022
"Hey Thor why do you wear that metal plate over your butt?"
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︎ Aug 30 2022
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron,
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︎ Jul 14 2022
What's the one note a black metal band will never play?
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︎ Sep 12 2022
A rock musician tried lifting a metal bar, but couldn't.
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︎ Aug 31 2022
Did you hear about the under cover police made of metal?
Yeah, there's a bunch of secret coppers running around
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︎ Aug 18 2022
A metal skeleton is great for blocking radio waves.
Because of its Faraday rib cage.
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︎ Aug 19 2022
I know a junk dealer who gives away metal for free. Right now, he comps stainless steel, copper, and aluminum.
Unfortunately, he's straight outta comped tin.
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︎ Aug 02 2022
Will Smith must be great at metal works.
Because he is a Blacksmith
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︎ Jul 13 2022
since lead can kill you just from being around it too much, it can technically be considered death metal.
how can I include "lead/lead singer" into the joke
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︎ Jun 06 2022
My friend got a random nosebleed and commented how wierd it is that blood tastes metalic.
I said "yeah its pretty ironic"
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︎ Apr 17 2022
I regret taking carpentry over metal work.
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︎ Jun 15 2022
Two wind turbines were spinning away when one said to the other: "What kind of music do you like?"
"I'm a metal fan."
"Me too!"
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︎ Sep 09 2022
Did you know Alaskan sled dogs love metal music?
Youβll often see them in mush pits
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︎ Jul 09 2022
Whatβs both metal and nonmetal?
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︎ Apr 11 2022
A lawyer handed me a metal rod...
I suppose he was just passing the bar.
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︎ Jul 10 2022
All the precious metals came together to celebrate Gold's birthday. The gifts were given, festivities were had, and then, it was time for the cake.
But, before Gold blew out the candles, he looked around and asked,
"This isn't pie, right?"
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︎ Jun 19 2022
What do you call the main vocalist of a heavy metal band?
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︎ Jun 08 2022
What's a Quaker's favorite metal album?
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︎ May 23 2022
Two explorers found a shallow mine hoping to find precious metals but there wasnβt anyβ¦
Their plan just didnβt pan out.
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︎ Jul 06 2022
What does the angry metal worker say in his job advert?
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︎ Apr 03 2022
Did you know they used to use lead to hold barrels together? A guy had to singe the band ends together. Now you know that every heavy metal band needed a lead singer.
credit to fang0654 who replied this to my previous post to expand off the joke "did you know lead is technically death metal since you can die just being around it"
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︎ Jun 21 2022
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︎ Jul 11 2022
Never pour sulphuric acid into a metal beaker...
It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
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︎ May 06 2022
So I went up that massive metal tower in Paris recently...
It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I'm lucky to be here to be honest.
I was up the very top, and there was a massive gust of wind, and unfortunately Ie ffel!
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︎ Jun 10 2022
Since itβs the Fourth of July, I just told my daughters they were named after George Washington.
About 280 years after to be precise.
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︎ Jul 04 2022
Although Iβm a sculptor, I still wasnβt sure about how to make a metal bust.
But I just forged ahead anyway.
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︎ Jun 15 2022
This superhero sheets metal
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︎ Sep 10 2021
I used to be a big metal fan.
But, with recent revelations, I have discovered that I, am an air conditioner.
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︎ Mar 05 2022
Whatβs a policemanβs favourite metal?
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︎ May 13 2022
Michel Lotito had a strange ability to consume metal. He is said to have eaten an entire Cessna 150 light aircraft.
I imagine it would have tasted a little plane though
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︎ Apr 15 2022
I was touring a rocket factory and wondered why the fuel tank was full of metal plates,
So when the tour guide pointed out a fuel system engineer I asked him "can you tell me why there are big flat plates all over the inside of the fuel tank?" and he looked up at it and said "oh, that's just baffling" and I thought, great, if he doesn't know, who would?
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︎ Mar 22 2022
Last night I was jumped by a stranger, but managed to defend myself with a seasoning packet and metal cylinder
He was charged with assault and battery.
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︎ May 21 2022
Have you heard about the childrenβs musical group featuring metal music from Germany?
Theyβre called Sharon, Lois and Brammstein.
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︎ May 28 2022
Why did no one show up for auditions to "Heavy metal, the musical"?
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︎ May 10 2022
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Did you hear about the guy that only ate metal?
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︎ Apr 05 2022
Whatβs a pirateβs favorite genre of music?
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︎ Aug 07 2022
If you eat aluminum foilβ¦
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︎ Aug 31 2022
Two windmills are standing in a field.
One asks the other, βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The other says βIβm a big metal fanβ
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︎ Jul 28 2022
What's a criminals most hated metal?
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︎ Mar 02 2022
It's a shame that people who spend all day working hard, digging for precious metals can't enjoy a drink at the end of the day.
All because they're miners.
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︎ Mar 27 2022
What do you call the main vocalist of a heavy metal band?
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︎ Jun 08 2022
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