My friend is moving here from SLC and I wanted to give them a shot of Malorts to welcome them to the city. My wife says this is a terrible idea and I shouldn't give Malort to anyone unless they ask for it (like who would?). I figure that Malort is a rite of passage and they're going to get one eventually, so why not do it in the safety and company of friends? Redditors of this fine city, is this acceptable or am I truly the monster my wife says I am?
Edit: Malort, not Malorts as my phone like to correct to.
Something about this snow makes me want to channel my inner Chicagoan (I have not been to Chicago since 2002). Can you get Malort in Raleigh, presumably at an ABC store?
Where can I find Malort in las Vegas?
Malort Racing, the Official Race Team of Jeppsons Malort, brought home a 1st place victory out in the desert.
And in true Chicago fashion, did it on a bone stock minibike!
https://preview.redd.it/q6nzie5pn4d81.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72cf2b4cb28a3a87420b67fe8832cab465d1f42e
Iโve always wanted to try it but thereโs no way Iโm going to buy a whole bottle
I feel like the Chicago-production is less offensive, whereas the vintage Florida product is the swill we know and love.
Hey yโall first off just wanna say I love the pod and I give full permission to discuss this in an episode if so inclined. I also give Jesse full permission to poopoo on this story as the only time I met him was when I chugged half a bottle of malort at the cox and crendor live show and I think itโs only fair. Intro out of the way letโs just get into it. This takes place on Halloween weekend on my friends property up in Wisconsin near the dells. We were having fun the whole day exploring, cutting fire wood, and smoking weed while pretending to be dnd characters. That night we got a bonfire going and we got the great idea to take some shrooms, we had bought quite a bit that weekend as our plan was to trip in nature. A good hour into the trip I was snapping pictures and enjoying my surroundings as I was exploring my mind when I started to feel really off like I was being watched or that there were more than just the 4 of us at the fire. I didnโt want to have a bad trip so I went back inside the cabin with one of my friends and was able to ground myself eventually forgetting about the feeling of being watched and had a great time even going back outside to star gaze with my friends. On the way home however we stopped to grab lunch and I wanted to look through my pictures when I came across pictures of the camp fire the night I started buggin out and there appeared to be a face in the smoke but not just in one picture (pictures down below) Iโm not saying that this is ghost and could be just my mind making faces or the way my camera snapped the photos but combined with the feeling I got and how when on shrooms Iโm more in tune with my surroundings I think itโs a little spooky
Harry's Wine and Spirits in Tennessee has Jeppson's Malort in stock!
Iโve been hunting for a bar that serves Malort. Has anyone come across it? (Malort is a Swedish liquer for the uninitiated)
Iโm not pro sending Josh anything, but I would be down for someone sending him a bottle of it. Iโm actually kind of a little surprised no Chicago-area cobros have gifted mโjord a bottle. Iโd be really interested to see his reaction to it as Iโve heard it tastes like burning tires. With how gross itโs supposed to be I also wonder if heโd even drink the whole bottle or if it would be too much even for his alcoholism.
Hereโs a few unofficial slogans for those cobros not aware of Malort. More than a few Iโd say could apply to Josh right now:
Malort, kick your mouth in the balls! Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON. Malort, tonightโs the night you fight your dad. Malort, the Champagne of pain. Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations. Drink Malort, itโs easier than telling people you have nothing to live for. Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with. Malort, these pants arenโt going to shit themselves.
As title implies, we are looking for Malort! Any help would be appreciated!
Looks like our liquor commission in Oregon doesnt carry malort. Is anyone up to send me a bottle or two? Never been able to try it, and I love making poor choices.
Hi all! I grew up in Albuquerque and then lived in the Chicago area for like 20 years and Iโm back now. I just had a conversation about the most vile alcohol that exists (heโs pretty sure that bad tequila is awful). Iโd like to show him Malort. Any liquor store have it?
Any other Chicagoans in FoCo? Has anyone seen Malort at any local spots?
Trying to give a friend the experience of their first malort shot. Do any bars in the area have it?
Anyone know where I can buy a bottle of Malort in Boston? Thanks!
Any place downtown that has all three? I feel like a treat and Google is not helpful. Hoping someone has insider knowledge. Thanks.
I am trying to find this stuff, but no where around me has it and I've yet to find a liquor store that can special order it. Anyone have recommendations for a place that is good with special orders or some other way to get this stuff in CT?
I just moved here from Los Angeles and got a job bartending. As a welcome to Chicago, some guy bought me and his friend a shot of Malort.
I was warned by the other bartender that it tastes like gasoline so I was mentally prepared (or so I thought).
I took a shot and it wasnโt so bad! It tasted kinda sweet and I understood why those guys liked it.
Then it fucking hit. It tasted like an old man from the year 1450 with explosive diarrhea chugged gasoline and farted into a bottle and itโs been fermenting in there ever since.
Thank you Chicago
Virtual launch party for a fantasy novel... starting at 49:10 writer downs a shot on-camera. Her facial expressions are 100% genuine Malort trauma
https://www.facebook.com/eva.sandor.author/videos/331734578114257/
