I was absolutely livid at my doctor. He said I had a brain tumour that wasnโ€™t malignant, whatever the hell that meant.

I was visibly panicking, but I lost it when he said itโ€™s โ€œAll in your head.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/neloc1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I heard that moles could be malignant so I asked my doctor about my two...

When the tests came back he said: "There be nine." Never trust a doctor who illegally downloaded his degree.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TowerSheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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My wife got me at the airport earlier today...

My wife who usually stops talking to me for an hour or so when I make a good dad joke got me today...

Wife: What's our gate?

Me: B9

Wife: No, it's malignant.

Me: ...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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I was playing Bingo with my girlfriend's family for Christmas Eve, and her dad always announces the numbers

Everytime B-9 comes up, he says:

"B-9... not malignant."

-____-

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KnightsOfTheNight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Bingo!

For some reason my entire family plays bingo every year on Christmas. And every time my dad draws and reads all the number-letter combos. And every year he waits patiently until he can say his favorite dad joke: Oh, thank goodness it's not malignant... (pause for emphasis) It's B9!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tsatugi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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