Years ago, I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was involved in very organized crime

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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There’s a rat in the Italian mafia

An impasta

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExExtrovert
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2021
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How are mafia murders like candles?

They're both wax.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zotiko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2021
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Did you hear about the Canadian folk singer who had a run in with the Mafia?

They threw him into a river wearing concrete shoes, now they call him Gordon Heavyfoot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
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What's the difference between the government and the mafia?

The mafia can turn a profit!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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What do you call the protagonist of a dog mafia movie?

James Caanine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pvtsoab
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss

He always catches the snitch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/3174N
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2020
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What's a small, carnivorous mammal's favorite mafia game?

A mongoose :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Epickitty_101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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Who was the most notorious gangster in the cheese mafia?

Al Caprovolone

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prez9669
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2020
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What do you call a butler in the mafia?

A maid man.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flccncnhlplfctn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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What do you call a guinea pig that has joined a mafia group?

A hamster

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ngeelow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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What do you call a crustacean involved with the mafia?

A mobster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Santoryuuuuu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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Have you heard about the new restaurant the Mafia just opened up?

Foot traffic for indoor dining is a little slow, but they do a great TAKEOUT business

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MynameisMatlock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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A mafia boss hired a hitman to take down a few pines in his front yard

The hitman asked: 'what do you want me to do after the job is done?' The mafia boss replied: 'I want you to go bury tree bodies.'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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How do you get the mafia out of pro sports?

You request a sit-down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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What does working for the mafia and oral sex have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/24_7meatslinger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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What does the mafia do when cows know too much?

They ice cream 🍦🍦🍦

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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A local restaurant launders money for the mafia

They refused to sere me beef today. The waiter said something about a stakeout

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.

My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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Did you know that Jesus was with the Italian Mafia?

It’s true! His dad was the Godfather.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iusedtobeaplayer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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Why do Mafia guys always have the cleanest cars?

From all the whacks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SupernintendoChlmers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2020
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Did you hear about the Toronto Mafia Boss known for telling bad jokes?

The call him The Stand Up Canadian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SiLifino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tiramisuafficionado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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Did you hear about the cheese mafia?

They call themselves "The Mascarpone Family".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Butt_Plug_Bonanza
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2019
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Why did the mafia go into the pizza business

They wanted to make some dough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/governingLody
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2019
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What do you call a mafia of killer whales?

Orcanized crime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ISpamUpvotes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2019
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I've just started knitting for the Mafia

They call me Scarf Ace

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2018
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My time in the mafia served me well

I got so good with scarves, they started calling me scarf ace.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2019
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What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2019
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Mafia Boss: I want this guy hurt. I want the brake lines of his car to be rusting.

Scientist: Got it.

Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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Why was the Welsh Mafia stopped so easily?

As soon as they were put into a lineup, everyone sang.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2019
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How does the Italian mafia carry out a suicide bombing?

They rig a Tony...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brickbaterang
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2019
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(X post) The mafia visited the local pizzeria for extortion money.

They wanted their piece of the pie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2019
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The mafia is forcing me to recycle

They made me an offer I can refuse

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2018
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What would happen if an oyster witnessed a mafia killing?

He would clam up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Heard about the undercover cop in the Italian Mafia?

He was an impasta

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xianthamist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
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I used to sell filing cabinets to the mafia....

Back then I was involved in very organised crime!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/greyspartacus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2019
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My buddy sells office supplies, label makers, and file cabinets to the Mafia.

He is involved in very organized crime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2018
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Why doesn't the Mafia like Jehovah Witnesses?

They don't like any witnesses.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crocodilesareforwimp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to supply Filofaxes to the Mafia

I was involved in very organized crime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rockstorm8232
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was into very organised crime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/biggrumpybadger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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