Years ago, I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia
I was involved in very organized crime
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Thereβs a rat in the Italian mafia
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
How are mafia murders like candles?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Did you hear about the Canadian folk singer who had a run in with the Mafia?
They threw him into a river wearing concrete shoes, now they call him Gordon Heavyfoot.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
What's the difference between the government and the mafia?
The mafia can turn a profit!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
What do you call the protagonist of a dog mafia movie?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss
He always catches the snitch
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 09 2020
What's a small, carnivorous mammal's favorite mafia game?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
π︎ 25
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
π︎ 95
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Who was the most notorious gangster in the cheese mafia?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
What do you call a butler in the mafia?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
What do you call a guinea pig that has joined a mafia group?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
What do you call a crustacean involved with the mafia?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
Have you heard about the new restaurant the Mafia just opened up?
Foot traffic for indoor dining is a little slow, but they do a great TAKEOUT business
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
A mafia boss hired a hitman to take down a few pines in his front yard
The hitman asked: 'what do you want me to do after the job is done?'
The mafia boss replied: 'I want you to go bury tree bodies.'
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
How do you get the mafia out of pro sports?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
What does working for the mafia and oral sex have in common?
One slip of the tongue and youβre in deep shit
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
What does the mafia do when cows know too much?
They ice cream π¦π¦π¦
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
A local restaurant launders money for the mafia
They refused to sere me beef today. The waiter said something about a stakeout
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.
My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 08 2020
Did you know that Jesus was with the Italian Mafia?
Itβs true! His dad was the Godfather.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Why do Mafia guys always have the cleanest cars?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
Did you hear about the Toronto Mafia Boss known for telling bad jokes?
The call him The Stand Up Canadian.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?
Because it had too much violins.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
Did you hear about the cheese mafia?
They call themselves "The Mascarpone Family".
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
Why did the mafia go into the pizza business
They wanted to make some dough
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
What do you call a mafia of killer whales?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
I've just started knitting for the Mafia
π︎ 49
π
︎ Dec 21 2018
My time in the mafia served me well
I got so good with scarves, they started calling me scarf ace.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 31 2019
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
Mafia Boss: I want this guy hurt. I want the brake lines of his car to be rusting.
Scientist: Got it.
Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
Why was the Welsh Mafia stopped so easily?
As soon as they were put into a lineup, everyone sang.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 21 2019
How does the Italian mafia carry out a suicide bombing?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 17 2019
(X post) The mafia visited the local pizzeria for extortion money.
They wanted their piece of the pie.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 25 2019
The mafia is forcing me to recycle
They made me an offer I can refuse
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 24 2018
What would happen if an oyster witnessed a mafia killing?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 29 2018
Heard about the undercover cop in the Italian Mafia?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
I used to sell filing cabinets to the mafia....
Back then I was involved in very organised crime!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
My buddy sells office supplies, label makers, and file cabinets to the Mafia.
He is involved in very organized crime.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 01 2018
Why doesn't the Mafia like Jehovah Witnesses?
They don't like any witnesses.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 16 2018
I used to supply Filofaxes to the Mafia
I was involved in very organized crime.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia
I was into very organised crime.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2019
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