Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "Live House"
The bank gave her the boot
I fell in love with the girl next door. Sadly we drifted apart.
A log cabin!
to a no-fly zone
Now they are my ten ants
Ursine seal delivered.
The current owners let me take a look inside. No biggie.
A Round House.
I said, “Well sweetie, that’s nice, but I just can’t see you and your friends shoveling manure for a living.”
To which she replied, “Oh no? I thought you said that I could be president if I wanted to!”
A cowabungalow
I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.
It's paid fraternity leave.
The rent is pretty expensive but that's mostly due to inflation.
My life had been uprooted.
Because despite their houses' appearance, they don't have mush room
My only question to her was, how many stories would it be?
"A cottage"
"We need the eggs."
He's just a stone's throw from me.
Turns out it was an attic.
.....shouldn't throw orgies.
Just ants
The president. Duh
No rest for the Wiccans.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡Have lofty dreams?
A brick has gotten me through every other window I needed to get into.
Because there's not mushroom
One day a storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his home... now he's in a pickle.
Because Adams make up everything!
Son: Mom, if we had zombies coming to attack the house where would we go? Wife: Contemplating as these are usually serious questions from him Son: interrupts The LIVING room mom! You know, because you want to LIVE! Me: tears coming to my eyes gives him a high-five you're gonna make an awesome dad someday buddy!
He's a lyin' tamer.
You could say it was a meth.
Nope! It's a terrible burden. >!Brrr-Den!<
Wasn't sure if this was the place to post, or if I should look for Dad jokes instead.
a roundhouse kick
I yelled to her to go ahead and vitamin.
A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.
But Sadly, we drifted apart.
The kids are taking the news pretty hard.
Happy Father’s day!
A house. Because they love living in the present!
The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.
Everything smells like meat.
“Why so cheap?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner said, “Well, this bird used to live in a brothel, and occasionally it says some pretty vulgar stuff.” The woman thought about this, but decided that for $50, she just had to have the bird.
She took the bird home, hung the cage up in the living room, and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.” The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “Meh… That's really not so bad” and laughed it off.
When her two teenage daughters got home from school, the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new girls!!!” The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then laughed about the situation – considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
A few moments later, the woman’s husband got home from work. The bird looked at him and said, “New house, new madam, new girls, welcome back Keith!!!”
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