I certainly soap you like it.
I have a hunch you will like this joke
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Dune tell me you don't like this pun
I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
If good;
The good news is there is no bad news.
If bad;
The bad news is there is no good news.
Waiter : "How would you like your steak cooked"?
Me : "Take a guess"
Waiter : "Medium rare"?
Me : "Well done"
Waiter : "umm, huh"???
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
What do you call a woman that likes to have sex with homeless man?
When your friends know you love puns and send you things like this >>>>>>
I'd like to share a small victory with you all today
I Was Told You Might Like My Valentines Day Cards ;)
You know how Russia doesn’t like free speech.
They just won’t be Putin up with it!
From my kids... Would you like a guide to falling down the stairs.
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 9...
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
Two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The other replies ‘Well, I’m a big metal fan.’
Fred: “Someone said that you look like an owl?” Meg: “Who?”
Fred: “You sound like one, too.”
First octopus: “What do you like least about being an octopus?”
Second octopus: “Washing my hands before dinner”
Why can’t you like an atom? ⚛️
Because they literally make-up everything.
Shout out to my 9yo daughter who came up with this banger all by herself. For the street cred, kid! Happy Friday all!
What do you call a stuffed toy pig when throw like a football?
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins
They have no common cents
How do you get a squirrel to like you ?
Do you know why I don't like Paper?
Because it's tearable!
I know this is not original (plenty of renditions out there), but my 8 year old made it up herself. So not only is it original to her, she made my day.
Did you know frogs taste like beer?
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
Did you know that the people in Dubai *really* don't like the Flintstones?
But those in Abu Dhabi do!
What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again
A string goes into a bar, the bartender asks: "Would you like a drink"?
String: "I'm a frayed knot."
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**
Have you ever thought about what the world would be like without noses?
Nobody nose.
Also my boyfriend came up with this and I feel like this is so good I need to go take a pregnancy test to see if he’s about to be a dad.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...
Other people: "So you like ice puns?"
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?"
Son: "What are my choices?"
Dad: “Yes” or “no”
What you call a Ghost with face like Grandpa’s ?
Would you like to read two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooooooooke
What do you call a dog that likes laps?
I'd like to tell you my favorite tongue-twister.
Dentists always ask dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”
I thought you folks would like this
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
Two wind turbines stood in a field one wind turbine asks the other wind turbine "What type of music do you like?" The other wind turbine replies..
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
2 windmills are in a field. One asks: "What kind of music do you like?"
The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".
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