Mad-Libs
His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
ABSENTEE A missing golfing accessory
AUTOBIOGRAPHY The carβs logbook
AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage
BOOKCASE Litigation about a novel
BURGLARISE What a crook sees with
CABBAGE The fare you pay to a taxi driver
CAUTERISE Made eye contact with her
COUNTERFEITERS Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
DILATE To live long
ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living
EYEDROPPER A clumsy ophthalmologist
GRANARY Home for old women
HEROES A guy manning the oars in a boat
HUMBUG Singing insect
LEFT BANK What the robber did when his bag was full of money
MISTY How golfers create divots
NONDESCRIPT Italian actors ad-libbing
NITRATES Cheaper then day rates
PARADOX Two physicians
PARASITES What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
PHARMACIST A helper on the farm
POLARISE What penguins see with
POST OPERATIVE A letter deliverer
PRIMATE Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
RECOVERY ROOM A place to do upholstery
RELIEF What trees do in the spring
RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
TERMINAL ILLNESS Getting sick at the airport
SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
URINE Or youβre out
... "you know" says the bartender "we don't get many of your type around here".
"Adjective?"
"Abstract."
"Verb ending with -ing?"
"Bring."
"Food, plural?"
"Soup."
(Glares, writes "soups.") "Adverb?"
"Very."
"Noun?"
"Noun."
"Yes, a noun."
"Noun."
"THAT'S NOT A NOUN."
"Yes, it is!"
"Okay, fine ... Part of the body?"
"The."
"Noun?"
"Verb."
"DAAAAAADDDDYYYYYYY"
"After I walked some hills tonight, your mother touched my hands and asked how I managed with such cold hands. I told that it was easy; I keep them at arms length."
... My mother's response was less than satisfactory. So my 81 year-old dad e-mailed the anecdote to me, knowing that another dad would give the ad-libbed line the appreciation it deserves.
You know what they say though, "Punny doesn't grow on trees..."
"Did you hear my joke about the Indian chief's wives?"
The first wife lived in a hut made of deer hide, and bore him one son.
The second wife lived in a hut made of bear hide, and bore him one son.
The third wife lived in a hut of hippopotamus skin and bore him twin sons.
"Thus the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of two hides!"
A fucking mad lib on the Pythagorean theorem. I'm pissed. He's so happy. Love you dad.
His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.
