Lateralisation Puns

Anybody know how to treat?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I've spent a bit of time lurking on here and reading ideas and decided to share one of my own. I am very much new to the whole idea, but I am currently working on something that I wanted to share and get opinions and feedback on.

My current project is a conlang spoken by a species who possess a syrinx rather than a larynx. I am mostly tinkering around with it, trying to work out what the characteristics of such a language might be. The most interesting (to me, at least) feature I've thought of so far is lateralisation - the idea that the two separate pipes (bronchi) can each make a distinct sound and layer them over the top of one another as in birdsong. As a result, the language of this avian species consists of a number of phonemes that are actually two phonemes layered over one another.

The principle I've followed in writing about this conlang is to treat it as though a human were attempting to approximate the language while taking into account biological shortfalls. A human can't produce two distinct sounds at the same time, so my problem was how would they attempt to overcome that in both speech and phonetic transliteration?

When transliterating to the IPA, two phonetic pronunciations are typically provided - the syrinx and the larynx version.

Syrinx - The syrinx version is fairly straightforward. Lateralised sounds are always presented with the left bronchial sound first and the right second and indicatd by a superscript. For example [aɪ^(1)əɪ^(2).təʊn] - the /aɪ/ and /əɪ/ are pronounced concurrently, with /aɪ/ in the left bronchial and /əɪ/ in the right. I am yet to develop a script for the conlang, but these harmonised syllables will likely employ their own characters.

Larynx - The larynx version is a little more complicated and I'm not entirely satisfied with my working solution for it, so I'd love to hear any feedback or suggestions. My initial thought was to have them pronounced as a triphthong as encountered in British Received Pronunciation - the two distinct sounds are brought together as [aɪ̯ə̯.təʊn]. Practically, I imagine any syrinx-having native speaker of the conlang being frustrated or confused by the slurred way a human might pronounce these words.

An alternative I considered was that they could attempt to pronounce the sounds one after the other with something like a tonal contour - [aɪ˧˥˦əɪ.təʊn]. This I'm not so sure about and haven't delved into it too much. Practically, I can see the syrin

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill