Large Professor Puns

First day of the new semester. I'm at my first class, Experimental Statistics. The professor is going over the syllabus and everything then stops for us to do an "exercise."

He tells us to turn to the person next to us and ask them to marry us.

(If you must know, the guy on side me said no. Apparently it was something I said.)

We start to quiet down and wait for the explanation of why 1000 students just asked each other to marriage.

The professor said that it was important for his students to be engaged during class.

Student: How large will the matrices be on the midterm? Professor: It depends on how large you write.

An older professor told me this one in class.

I was at a restaurant and I ordered a split pea soup for this diet I was on. The waiter was very rude, she took my order and came back with my soup. She threw the soup down and I noticed a rather large fly in my soup. I called her over and asked "Excuse me, what's this fly doing in my soup?" She responds, "it looks like the backstroke."