A list of puns related to "Lady In The Lake"
A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."
The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"
The man says, "Yeah."
The cabbie says, "That's on Wabash in Chicago."
The man says, "Yeah."
The cabbie says, "I'm not gonna drive you to Chicago. I'll take you to LaGuardia, you can get on a plane."
The man says, "No, I can't do that, I've got a debilitating fear of heights, I can't fly. Can you drive me to the Palmer House?"
The cabbie says, "No, you can get out, walk a few blocks west, get on a train at Penn Station."
The man says, "That won't work, either. I got a conference at the Palmer House I got to get to by tomorrow morning. I need a cab."
The cabbie says, "Look, do you know how expensive a cab ride from New York to Chicago's gonna be?"
The man opens his wallet, offers the cabbie ten $100 bills, and says, "I'll give you the rest when you get me there."
The cabbie considers it, takes the money, and begins the trip.
He drives out of Manhattan, west down 33rd St. until he merges onto the Lincoln Tunnel ramp, then through the Lincoln Tunnel and into New Jersey, then through New Jersey until he merges onto the Pennsylvania Turnpike, then through Pennsylvania until he merges onto the Ohio Turnpike, then through Ohio until he merges onto the Indiana Turnpike, then through Indiana until, finally, he merges onto the Chicago Skyway Bridge.
(He stopped for gas a couple of times.)
But from the Skyway in Chicago it's a short trip to the Palmer House: he exits the interstate at Stony Island Ave. and takes it north to 57th St., where he turns right to merge onto Jean Baptiste Point du Sable Lake Shore Dr. He drives north up to Roosevelt Rd., then cuts over to Michigan Ave., takes it up to Ida B. Wells Dr., and then cuts over to Wabash Ave. He starts to take a right so he can drive north up Wabash to the Palmer House, then stops, realizes Wabash is a southbound one-way street, curses, and continues straight onto Dearborn St.
He turns right on Dearborn and takes it up to Monroe St., then cuts over once more to Wabash Ave., takes a right onto Wabash and drives one block south until, finally, he arrives at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel in Chicago.
The man pays the cabbie the rest of the fare (about $1950, but the man rounds it up to $2.5 grand with tip), thanks him, and sprints into the hotel just in time for his conference.
And, wouldn't you know it, as soon as the man is out of the cab, a woman sees the New York c
... keep reading on reddit ➡Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
Within animal puns, we provide you the funniest bundle of fish puns
What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”
Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
What do you call a fish with a tie? soFISHticated
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!
How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.
Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments.
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Good morning ladies.
What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall? Damn!
Whats the best way to catch a fish? Have some one thow it at you.
How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.
What happens when you drink like a fish? You piss like a fire hose.
Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just Squidding.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”
Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!
How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.
Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers
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