I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I was asked to put either an inspirational quote or a joke on the message board at work.
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︎ Jul 09 2020
This joke might or might not be funny.
This is a SchrΓΆ-zinger .
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︎ Aug 27 2020
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My sonβs first dad joke: my wife asked if we were going to play soccer, or if weβre too tired.
Son: weβre not bicycles.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I recently talked about a John Cena joke with my sister, but she didn't seem to understand the joke, so I started to explain to her who John Cena is. She then asked me whether or not I seriously think that she doesn't know who John Cena is. I then told her:
"Well, I just thought you might have never seen him before."
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︎ Apr 06 2020
My Dad made the best (or worst) Dad joke at our Christmas Dinner
Cousin: I really want a dog this year.
Wife: What kind do you want?
Cousin: Iβm really wanting a poodle.
My Dad: Just wait until it rains. There will be plenty of βpoudlesβ around.
Everyone else : π
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︎ Dec 25 2019
funny joke or not that is comment
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︎ Nov 18 2019
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.
Now I want my Nickelback.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
The world has been taken storm by jokes exploiting the different possible meanings of words or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.
Stay safe everyone. This is a global pundemic.
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︎ Mar 17 2020
I don't know if this is a Dad joke or just plain appalling...
I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:
"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"
And John turned to me and said-
>!"All you need is glove!<
>!All you need is glove,!<
>!All you need is glove,glove!<
>!Glove is all you need"!<
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︎ Feb 03 2020
What is your favourite dad joke youβve ever seen or told?
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︎ Oct 30 2019
I can't decide if this joke is swede or sour.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
Yesterday someone asked me why I make so many dad jokes if I don't have or even ever want kids.
It's genetic. I come from many generations of dads.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
I don't know if it's a dad joke or just a regular bad joke.
The other day I was really killing them at the comedy club, but eventually all they did was boo
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︎ Oct 31 2019
I make a lot of dad jokes, but I donβt even have or want any kids..
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︎ May 09 2019
I like bird jokes...they always seem to get at least a laugh or two
Except the fowl ones...those donβt always land
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︎ Aug 28 2019
Serious question... Does a pun need to be a joke? Or does this count?
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︎ Dec 14 2018
Told this girl some of these jokes. She said "I'm impressed you just know all these or you're pretty good at googling."
I said "I'll have you know madam, I haven't googled one of these.. I Reddit all somewhere though.."
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︎ May 08 2019
I'd tell a joke about herbs or fish
but this isn't the thyme or the plaice
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Iβve been torturing my 12yo son with dad jokes for the last month or so...he came in first thing this morning and laid this one on me...
Where do sunburned dinosaurs go for help?
The Allosaurus.
He earned a high-five for that one.
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︎ Dec 27 2018
Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
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︎ May 14 2019
I'm wondering, is the old *Person 1:'Is this [thing 1] or [thing 2] Person 2: Yes* a dad joke or a reddit meme?
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︎ Feb 17 2019
As a joke I did not eat or sleep for 3 days
It was a self-deprivating joke!
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Sometimes it feels like the same dad joke get posted every month or two
But this post suggests otherwise
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︎ May 31 2019
Canβt tell if my neighbors are playing along with the joke or seducing me
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︎ Oct 08 2018
When telling dad jokes/puns, do you prefer your victims to laugh or groan?
I personally prefer horrible puns that make the listener regret being born with ears. But thats just me.
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︎ Jan 07 2015
Who tells the best jokes down on the farm, Dairy farmers or Maize growers?
Maize growers - their jokes are always corn-ear.
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︎ Feb 28 2019
Came up with a joke this weekend, not sure if it exists yet or not. Why did the duck rob his mom?
So he could buy some quack..
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︎ Mar 04 2019
I wish I had a dollar for every Dad joke, turn of phrase, or play on words I manage to rattle off on a daily basis.
You know what they say though, "Punny doesn't grow on trees..."
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︎ Jun 05 2017
I'd like to tell an Ear, Nose, or mouth joke...
But eye jokes are so much cornea..
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︎ Mar 28 2017
My first lame dad joke, I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed.
My 3 year old daughter recently began to ask questions about everything - before she just went on with our routine.
Today we told her we should go get some lunch. She said "what is lunch?" - as in, "what are we having for lunch?"
I went on to to explain to her what lunch is; at what time it's had, how it is placed in the mouth with utensils, how the food is chewed, etc.
She just stared at me with a blank face of utter confusion. I can't wait until she starts to get these and actually finds them annoying.
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︎ Oct 14 2015
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︎ Nov 28 2016
[META] In the coming year or so, the Domain www.Jokes.Dad will become a thing
Can we make sure one of us buys it and makes something magical and Full of dad jokes for it?
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︎ Jan 19 2017
I need as many Star Wars dad jokes as you can find or come up with
Sorry if posts like this aren't allowed here (feel free to delete this if not, mods), but I need a ton of Star Wars dad jokes. We're having a SW party at my workplace in about a week and a half and I want some to go around and tell people to get laughs and groans :)
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︎ Dec 03 2015
Dad jokes: where you're unsure whether he's being serious or not.
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︎ Sep 08 2013
I like to think I'm very fast at coming up with a dad joke in response to a comment or situation...
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︎ Jan 08 2017
There must be a yearly dad joke convention or something.
I was filling flowerbeds at work-a sport center and gym- with my dad(one of the owners), the groundskeeper- a father himself(lets call him GK), his son, and another co-worker.
two brothers, both in their late teens come out of the gym and wait for their dad to come pick them up. My dad sees them and asks if they want to help with the mulch- "its a free second workout!" A little later, GK says "Hey guys, you two should help with the mulch. We won't pay ya, but it'll help build up your muscles!". After the second time, you could hear the kids groan across the parking lot.
Aaand in come the brothers' father to pick them up. "Hey, look- they're mulching. you should help them. you two need to work on your biceps."
Three variants of the same dad joke in a matter of 15 minutes.
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︎ Jul 11 2014
My girlfriend is tired of my my architectural puns, and made me choose between my jokes or her. As much as I love my puns...
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︎ Nov 26 2015
Idk if this is copied or a dad joke at all. I just heard it
What Is The Difference Between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai Doesn't Watch The Flinstones. But Abu Dhabi Do!
This joke srsly sux
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︎ Feb 11 2016
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