Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
Because they work on many levels.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: βI have to get Dusty ice cream.β
GF: βDusty ice cream doesnβt sound very goodβ
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I asked my dad for his best joke and he said:
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
(On The Spot Joke) My Partner was in bed cracking her back and asked.....
βHey can you hear my back crackβ
I replied βyea can you hear my ass crackβ then proceeded with the filthiest fart known to man
Absolute crack up. Hahahahahah even she laughed
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
I was working as a waiter in a restaurant and my boss enjoyed playing jokes on me.....
....wasnβt so funny when I turned the tables though was it.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
What's round, long and jokes around all of the time?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each otherβs jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
π︎ 626
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Did you hear the secret joke that only the FBI, CIA, NSA and MI6 know?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
My wife and kids told me that they're tired of hearing the same jokes
I told them that I care about the environment and thus recycle my jokes.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
It took me over 6 months to come up with a joke about calendars and clocks.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Benedict Cumberbatch got tired of all the jokes on his name and changed it to Benedict Batch
π︎ 95
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
By buddies and I were drinking beer and cracking jokes, but things started to get out of hand.
It was quite the brew-haha.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
π︎ 907
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
My daughter came into my "home office" (closet) and said, "You wanna hear a joke?" I told her that I did
Daughter: "Quarantine."
Me: . . .
Daughter: "You don't get it. It's an inside joke."
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
Now that Iβm officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say βI bet he donβt have the guts to do that againβ
Edit: holy shit yβall this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
What's the difference between a dad joke and a regular joke?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
Dad jokes are low hanging fruit and here's why
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
So Iβm at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still donβt know because he hasnβt opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
βDad, I knew that story wasnβt real because you donβt have any friendsβ
π»π»ππβ οΈβ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
What is the difference between a good joke and?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
If you are offended by my dad jokes, donβt get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Search for this subreddit on Google and the tagline says "the best Dad Jokes on reddit"
But I joke other places, too.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Would you like to read two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooooooooke
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
π︎ 13k
π
︎ May 18 2020
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 06 2020
Dad initiation joke... When my wife and son were discharged by the hospital after he was born, they said we have to get a pediatric appointment within the next few days. They said they usually fit new borns in.
I said, they absolutely have space- heβs only 20 inches and 6 lbs. [holding my hands up showing how small he is].
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I told my son a joke and afterwards he asked me where i came up with it
π︎ 56
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously
A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
What do you call people that steal dad jokes and repost them?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
My sister is a nun and she doesn't like dad jokes
that's why we stick with father jokes
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
I used a dad joke from here on my dad and he already knew it. I asked him how and he said...
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Awful dad jokes and puns...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didnβt like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My son told me this joke: What's blue and not that heavy?
π︎ 356
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years, and Iβve heard neither of them ever tell a joke.
They are in a very serious relationship.
π︎ 291
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
What do you call a lonely and cheesy joke
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Landed a simultaneous chemistry joke and dad joke
My wife drove by with the kids and visited me at work. While I was saying hi, this happened:
Wife: You have some silly kids in here.
Me: And in here [indicate my lab], I have some sili-cates!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I tried to make jokes about the millions unemployed and out of work.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
I just told a dad joke so shit my wife shouted at me and stormed off (not a joke)
She said I wish you would put as much effort into life as you do your shitty jokes. It wasnt even that bad.
The man on the news said "...in the run up to christmas stores are already announcing record sales"
I said "thats not news HMV* announces record sales everyday".
*HMV is a music shop.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...
He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 03 2020
This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
(How?)
With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant?
(With a pink elephant gun?)
No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
(No clue...?)
So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
(Of course not)
Then clearly it works
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter
I guess some people cant stand jokes
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on any levels:)
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Do you want to hear 2 short jokes and 1 long joke
Joke
Joke
Joooooooooooooooooooke
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
I made a dad joke, and I'm not a dad
Does this make me a faux pa?
π︎ 318
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
When is a dad joke considered a dad joke and not just a regular joke?
When it becomes apparent.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years, but I have never heard either of them tell a joke.
They are in a very serious relationship.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
