¡Sin-cuenta!
Bi son!
They are in a very serious relationship.
The iRoll
Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!
It was a great punch-line.
My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.
Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.
At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!
Hello,
I am requesting help with remembering a joke. Posts of this type did not seem to be against the subreddit's rules, but if I am in error, please let me know and delete my post.
Anyway, here is what I remember of the joke:
It is movie themed and it says something like this: "There should be a post-apocalyptic zombie movie with a romantic comedy element. Then we would have the world's first rom-com-zom-dom-bomb." The only thing is that I forget what the "dom" was supposed to mean and whether or not there is more to this joke, either in the set-up or the punchline. I googled it to no avail. Any help is appreciated.
Thank you
Now I’m outside banging and hollering ‘Oh PUN the door!!!’ ‘Oh PUN the door!!!’
It's true! When was the last time you ate a bird?
"You"... followed by a smirk.
Not the response I was expecting but I laughed
Or would that be a faux pa?
Don't ask me for 5 cents anytime soon...
because I'm Nicholas.
(that's right! a joke only we can tell!)
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
-
French cow: le moo
-
Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
-
Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
-
Inaudible cow:
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
Funny, right?
I’ve been spreading g’roaner virus.
So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... cheesiest... joke that you’ve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!
Edit: Apparently that’s a Cake. Damn it. I probably could have found a sweet cake joke to use.
A no bell prize
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
But the jokes couldn’t be any cornea.
My wife just now, relaxing after we got the kids to sleep: Do we have any toast?
Me: No, but we have bread!
Wife: 😐 *silence*
Me: I'll just see myself out. *laughing all the way to the pantry*
well i made a discord bot and i added a dadjoke command. welp nobody was enjoying the lack of dad jokes. any one got some good dad jokes?
Why
Let me know if you herd them.
A1C por favor
what do you say to a potassium based fruit that keeps stealing stuff!? Stop with your banana-gins!
They take a while to gain any traction.
Then he turned into a driveway.
That way they’re full groan.
Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.
We got back to the house and my nephew said...
Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.
Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?
Nephew: no. Is it still broken?
Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.
He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.
She said she'll give half to her school and keep a quarter for herself.
A toy Yoda
They both love quack
But remember the real reason is because they don't deux-oeuf it.
Grandpa: Are you being safe with this Corona Virus issue?
Me: of coarse!
Grandpa: Very good, make sure you always have a mask on outside and carry a bunch of sand with you!
Me: I always have a mask on but why do I need sand?
Grandpa: You didn't hear about the sand? Its very effective! Wherever you suspect the virus is hiding, you grab a handful of sand and throw the sand at it to stone the virus to death!
I love my grandpa lol made me laugh
They pared up nicely.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To see the idiot.
...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.
They are in a very serious relationship.
We are in a very serious relationship.
