This morning there was a jagged edge on the sidewalk that caught my shoe causing me to fall.

Much later in the day, after having told the story many times, I was getting ready to tell a baker friend and she sympathized and told me to say it in three words instead of the whole story. So I told her, "burr ow knees".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoonFartFlam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2023
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What car does Jesus drive ?

Christler

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaCk_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2022
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My jag

My jaguar hybrid runs on Li-ions though.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonstew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and an attorney?

Not a whole lawt

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
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How de we know cats and dogs all go to heaven?

Cats are good at chasing the light. Dogs are good at chasing the cats.

                      RIP Jags

         10/10/2019—7/10/2021

                     🌺 🌺 🌺

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pivoters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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I was challenged to a race by the same British-made car I was driving...

It was a Jag war.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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My daughter hates this one (that's how I know it's a good one)

Her: Dad! can you please call my phoneee!

Me: DAUGHTER'S PHONE! DAUGHTER's PHONE!!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidAsylum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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Why did the whisky divorce the glass?

Their marriage was on the rocks!

(Thank you u/VadJag for encouraging me to post this again!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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