What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?

One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"

And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Pun on point.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielthygreat
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Just Dad Joked my Geology Class

While learning about atoms, my instructor said that covalent bonds were the strongest bonds. I said, "I always thought Sean Connery was the strongest Bond." So many groans. I could feel the eye rolls. I love being the old guy in class.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TingleSack
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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The names Bond

Ionic Bond

Electrons taken, not shared

Creddit to my chemistry teacher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IdentifiedAnon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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If you tell people "na" periodically it will just end up making them salty.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcadesdude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Hydrogen Chloride and Hydrochloric acid both have the same formula of HCl but are different.

Isn't that ionic?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Did you hear about the atom that got charged?

It's a pretty ionic story

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CroissantBlue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Sad news guys. I lost an electron...

But, I'm staying positive.

EDIT: Hope you guys can keep an ion me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theshawsinator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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Alanis Morrissette almost became a chemist instead of a singer

Isn't it Ionic?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I hate debt, but adding a charge to my credit card seems positive

It's quite ionic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Dad joked by one of my students at an all girls school.

I was teaching about naming ionic compounds and said that "we have one more wrinkle to go through, so take a look at this example with iron" and one girl started cracking up. I didn't understand why so she said we had to iron the wrinkle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdiap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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My wife and I were doing laundry together..

Me: Isn't it ironic that the dryer sheet gets stuck to the clothes?

Wife: Nope, it's ionic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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The names bond

Ionic bond

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kibo_URL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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