Intranets Puns

I used to post puns and dad jokes on my company’s intranet daily. About a year ago I stopped for one reason or another. I’d like to start again, but I need something witty to start it off. Any ideas?

So my name is Lance and this morning one of my coworkers (Bob) pinged me.

Bob: Is your legal name Lancelot? Just wondering because apparently there's a guy named "Lance Stevenson" in the office but in the intranet phonebook he's "Lancelot Stevenson"

Me: Shhh... I used to go by Lancelot. Now I'm just called Lance a lot.

Bob: groan...