I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
They’re on standbi
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Note to new readers: Book 1, comprising Chapters 1 through 38, have been taken down and moved to Kindle Unlimited. If you're interested in reading the story from the beginning, you can find it here.
For the sake of HFY's Rule 7, here's a 350+ word description of Book 1 in pastebin form so this post doesn't get too cluttered.
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"Let the 9th Official Assemblage of Riardin's Rangers commence!"
Malika pumped her fist in the air and jumped, whooping loudly as she announced the start of their meeting. The Party had chosen a secluded, empty building as their place of rendezvous, meaning they could be as loud and silly as they wanted. Rob made sure to clap loudly, and the others followed suit, letting Malika soak in the attention as she grinned from ear-to-ear. It was an infectious smile, and Rob found himself mirroring her good cheer. She made for an effective mascot. One who could pump him full of 3000 volts of pain if he annoyed her, but an effective mascot nonetheless.
<I believe you're giving Malika too little credit,> Diplomacy stated. <Even were you to openly call her a mascot – which would be ill-advised – she isn't the violent type. Without legitimate reason, at least.>
Probably, but it's hard to forget Elder Duran's face when he talked about Archmages going mad with power, Rob countered. Guy seemed genuinely worried about Malika's long-term disposition. I'd like to avoid alienating her and accidentally writing the prologue to her villain origin story. Let's go ahead and keep leading her down the path of good, righteousness, and all that jazz.
Diplomacy paused. <Then perhaps you should stop encouraging her to experiment with dangerous magic so freely.>
Rob barked out an internal laugh. Clearly you don't understand precocious young teenagers. I do – which I should, considering I was one – and stunting their creativity is the exact opposite card to play if you want them to listen to you.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Orn'tol was trying very hard not to sulk and only partially succeeding. Rob belatedly remembered that it had been the young Ranger's turn to announce the start of the meeting. Like the upstanding big bro he was, he'd wordlessly stepped aside and let his little sister take center stage, recognizing that it would mean more to her than it would have to him. Rob wrote down a mental note to reward the guy for
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Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
