I'm addicted to ordering hatchets from different countries and sniffing them incessantly...

I love foreign axe scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
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Sometimes I...wax poetic
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2023
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Several monks incessantly tried to sell me flowers.

I told them time and time again I did not want or need flowers but they never left me alone. Finally I told my friend Hugh who has connections with the mob. He told me he’d take care of the monks and they’d never bother me again. Just goes to show, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awwwdawg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2021
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What do you call an ant that doesn't go away ?

Permanant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Not_Humourous
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2022
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Enough of the cheesy dad joke reposts please!

We havarti heard all of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikesidehugs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2022
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What do we give an incessantly joking father?

capital pun-ishment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoedle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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BIL was telling us about one of his exes who counted everything. In fact, her incessant counting was a factor in the breakup.

FIL quips "I wonder what she's up to."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voidbender
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
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Getting incessantly dadjoked by my female boss.

I'm at work today. In my job, I share an office with two other people, and my boss has another office down the hallway.

Currently, all three of us underlings are in the front office. We all are named Josh. For the last two hours, my boss has been calling the front office from her extension and saying, "Bring me the one they call Josh! Is Josh there?!" Then she laughs maniacally and hangs up. This repeats about every five to ten minutes.

I don't know how to make it stop. Please help.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerdThePenguinGuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Why was Einstein kicked out of the kitchen?

Because of his incessant experiments on the effect of gravity on thyme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haxiomic
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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I can't take this shit

I'm sitting on the toilet, trying to poop, and my dog is incessantly barking. I shout "I can't take this shit!!!!" And I couldn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skrimpin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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dadjoked my girlfriend after she was dadjoked by her teacher.

she was in her graphics class and her teacher, mr. sleight, walked by with a ladder. she asked him what he was doing and he replied "getting high."

she then texts me and complains about his incessant dadjoking. I tell her "darling, you're dating me. you're going to have to realize that dadjokes will not be only a sleight thing in your life."

she was disappointed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinorThunder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
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