Why does Sherlock Holmes use Imperial measurements?

Because crime's afoot.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VapidPastiche
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2022
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Metric to Imperial
πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Queerdough
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2022
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The Trojan war between the Greeks and Troy was really fought over the whether to adopt the metric or imperial system of measurement.

Why else would Achilles ride around shouting "Hectare, Hectare"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2022
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Why was Han Solo crying as he consumed his last meal, having been captured by the Imperial Army?

It was Chewy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2021
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My ex told me she missed me.

I told her to stop aiming for me.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RemnantReturning
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2022
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The death star has an exhaust port about 2 meters in diameter.

That makes no sense... It's imperial.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/luttrem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2022
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Everyone always goes on about how the Imperial War Museum in London is amazing

But nobody visits the Metric War Museum, just across the road.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Popular_Sell_8980
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2021
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What did the Imperial System say to the Metric System?

Get out of my yard!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2021
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TIL that school supply companies don't manufacture yardsticks any longer.

If they were any longer, they'd be called something else.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/In_The_Comments
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2022
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Little known fact, the death star was measured in feet...

Only because they wanted to use imperial units

πŸ‘οΈŽ 862
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oh_no_bro3
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2022
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what do you call an imperial door

Darth bay-door

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hummanhumas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2021
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What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the imperial proctologist?

These aren’t the β€˜rhoids you’re looking for.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gbarwis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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Mods are asleep, so here's an imperial ruler
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigdeal888
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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The 4th of May is only for celebrating puns about Star Wars. The real fans of Star Wars have a whole separate month during which they can celebrate it.

It's imperial March.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2022
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Metric > Imperial
πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ginganinja709
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2020
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Our country is about to switch from imperial to metric units.

There will be mass confusion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2019
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Since the US is the only country that uses British Imperial Units, it’s ironically the only former British colony to still have British rulers.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dazzler_wbacc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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Me, to my wife: Do you want to have dinner with one of the Imperial rulers of Germany?

Her: I’m not going to Burger King again.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2017
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How many meters was the longest centipede ever?

I don't know, but must've had about 100 feet

>!Sorry for imperial units :P!<

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kablaaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2022
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A European woman told me how tall she was in cm. I asked what that was in Imperial units

She said she can't do that "foreign height".

I told her, "No, that's for temperature. Tall is feet and inches!"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xwhy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2019
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If Britain would ever switch over to the imperial system...

The chaps would likely have to go to a pub to have a pint and complain.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2019
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Why dont imperials (skyrim) have many friends?

Because they live in solitude

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZvKGaming45
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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During the second world war, the Japanese imperial army killed the chef who used to make the best Indian breads.

But the Japanese still deny the Nan-king massacre.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2019
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How does C3P0 get to the imperial base on Endor?

Ewoks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Give_Me_The_Lute
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2018
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Why do Americans think cow tipping is hard.

It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System

>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2021
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In a galaxy far far away

A rebel pilot and an imperial pilot had a race around the deathstar to see who had the faster ship. It was a tie!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spbslinky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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I'm a member of the Galactic Senate on a dimplomatic mission to Alderaan - Princess Leia

Hi, I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan, I'm dad - Darth Vader

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jwelshie64
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
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A List of Puns (and other excuses for good humor)

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

...

Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

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πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/U2BURR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
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Adopting the metric system would help make US neighborhoods so much more livable

Under the current Imperial system, every three feet is a new yard

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/martianrome
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2019
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How big is an AT-AT on Star Wars?

Four Imperial Feet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BholeFire
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Punsville
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2017
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Why was the Death Star measured in miles?

Because they used Imperial units.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 854
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_The_Last_Mainframe_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2018
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When Americans say β€œWe don’t use the metric system...”

It’s the Imperial we.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CorujaGO
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2018
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