A list of puns related to "Ice V"
If you have any ideas about puns involving the terms immigration attorney, immigration and customs enforcement/ICE, and puns about immigration detention that would be amazing.
You guys are immigreat, thanks so much!
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.
What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!
Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after
beating the shit out of you.
In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.
If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.
I try not to judge people based on first impressions but if I see you put gummy bears on your ice cream stay away from me and my family.
Guy on my train: a crowded Amtrak on a freezing day is the right time and place for me to enjoy a big ass ice cream cone
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.
The new Baywatch Official Trailer reminds me that bathing suit season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the ice cream truck.
You can buy eel-flavored ice cream in Japan.I guess if you are out of chocolate and vanilla.
Being in a long term relationship and seeing your partner naked is like driving a hearse that plays ice cream truck music. Mixed emotions
I wish I had as much hope as the guy driving the ice cream truck around in February.
MC Hammer eats a lot of ice cream every day because as a kid his parents told him, “U Can’t Touch This”
On May 2nd a drunk driver almost ended my life.
... keep reading on reddit ➡But when I do, I use them to break the ice
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
“What’s the difference between dad and an ice cream truck? The ice cream truck has Good Humor!”
…half staff. Without missing a beat, hubby says its because the ice cream machine is down. I facepalm as my mom asks when that became a thing. 🤦♀️
While I was out with the family getting ice cream, the crowded shop had one of those awkward moments where everyone randomly goes quiet all at the same time - just as the confectioner handed me my ice cream.
I proceeded to ask “Where does someone learn to make ice cream this good?”
Confectioner - “I’m not sure… the morning crew makes the batches”
“Did they learn at sundae school???”
I could not have been prouder with the chorus of groans and chuckles that rang throughout the shop.
They were part of the just ice league.
Hello! I need some assistance!
My daughter’s band teacher always makes a pitch at the end of concerts for parents to treat their kids to ice cream. We want to thank him at the end of the year by making him a custom ice cream flavor from a friend who has an ice cream business.
I’m trying to think of a name for it that is a pun involving instruments. We don’t know what flavor yet so I’m really just brainstorming right now.
So please give me your best ice cream/instrument puns. :) Thanks in advance!
My 10yo son always asks for ice water with his meals. The past few weeks he's told me to put exactly eight ice cubes in his glass. I went with it because he can be very peculiar about certain things, and I just figured he had decided it was the perfect amount of ice.
Today he again asked me for water with eight ice cubes, but as I was getting it he said "I bet you're glad that in two days, I'll stop asking for eight ice cubes." To which I asked "why not?" And he said... "Because it won't be Octo-brrrrrrrrr anymore!"
Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
That's it!! No more mist and ice guy.
One clogs streets, the other breaks ice sheets.
Ice Krispies!
You kick him right in the ice hole
He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool.
In honor of my Grandpa, here is my favorite Dad joke, that he told me when I was a young one, and that I, in turn, have shared with each of my kids.
How to catch a polar bear:
Step 1: Go to a frozen lake way up north.
Step 2: Cut a 6 foot hole in the ice
Step 3: Place frozen peas all along the border of the hole in the ice.
Step 4: Hide
Step 5: When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
Because they’re ICE-olated.
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit ➡Just ice
than an on ice.
A man calls a father claiming to have abducted his child and says he wants 10.000 ice cream cones. The man gets them and just before he leaves to the drop point his child comes home. Turns out the caller was nothing more than a cone man
But it hit my ear and hurt like hail.
(My dad said this when he came in from the ice storm)
Where just ice is served.
One morning, his first mate woke him.
“Captain, the ship won’t move! The ocean is frozen solid!”
The pirate captain rose from his bed, yawned, and stretched. After a good scratch, he put on his boots and coat, and strode out of his quarters.
As he arrived at the bow of the ship, his men gathered around in nervous anticipation. He pulled out his pocket telescope and took a good, long look around the entire horizon. He collapsed his telescope, placed it back in his pocket, and clasped his hands behind his back. After some time, he tipped his head down toward his first mate and said:
“Ice sea.”
The doctor asked him "Have you considered icing it?"
Happy Holidays Y'all
That may explain why ice mocha lotta weed.
Is an ice rink.
He ran to the window and said "Icee!"
Her: ice ice baby.
Me: that’s too cold!
It was just ice
Because all he craves is just-ice
Obstruction of just ice
Ice cream for help.
Try icing it
In her ice chest!
Thought of this today, can’t wait to spring it on my 7yo when I see her after school
It doesn’t have any good ice breakers
An ice sheet
How to outsmart a polar bear.
Step 1. Cut a hole precisely 6 foot in diameter in the ice.
Step 2. Place peanuts in 1 foot increments around the hole.
Step 3. Hide behind something close enough to see hole.
Step 4. When the polar bear has his back to you ( distracted by delicious peanuts ) sneak up behind him and kick him right in the "icehole!"
(Sorry if this has been posted already.)
It’s almost impossible to break the ice
Ice I render
Cut a hole in the ice, place a pea in the center of the circle, and when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole
You cut a hole in the ice and scatter peas around it. When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
That was one my dad used to tell, so it's 100% genuine dad joke.
Kick them in the ice hole
An ice cream clone.
Dr asked: Have you tried icing it?
When the bear stops to take a pea, you sneak up behind it and kick it in the ice hole.
Doctor: "Have you tried icing it?"
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