I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
I got to open a present early. It was anti-gloating cream
I can't wait to rub it in
I used to know the name of a dessert where you pour espresso over a scoop of ice cream.
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
I received a verifiable threat against my Boston cream pie
So I had it placed in protective custardy
My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer ?
I told her no. I ate it on the couch.
I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester.
My kid asked today where I learned to make ice-cream
I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.
I saw an ice cream holder made of polymerized siloxanes at the store today
But I thought "that's just a silly cone"
I invested all my money in a whipped cream factory.
People told me not to. They said that it's a huge whisk.
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
My 4yo daughter was playing ice cream shop, pretending that little pieces of chalk were the ice cream flavors. She asked me what flavor I wanted
I learned how to make ice cream the other day.
I guess that time at sundae school paid off...
I was sacked from the ice cream factory today
Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!
I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream.
My stomach was churning for a while, but now I’m finally feeling butter.
I take my time when choosing a diaper cream...
I don't want to make a quick, rash decision!
I was walking down the street, and a man threw cheese, milk, and ice cream at me.
I’m going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
I visited my doctor today and have been prescribed some anti-gloating cream.
Now all I have to do is rub it in
I'm watching a film called Numbing Cream.
I got some shaving cream that helped me pass my exams
It's called my smart foam
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet
But then my browser froze
I finally purchased a new tube of Fixodent Denture Adhesive Cream for my wife and me!
It was good to strengthen our bond.
I was kicked out of an ice cream shop because I was born without feet.
Apparently they’re lack-toes intolerant.
Just been offered a job at a local ice cream shop, but I turned it down.
I don't like working on sundaes.
I salivate uncontrollably whenever I see fruit, cream and meringue...
It's a Pavlovian response.
When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.
Life was tough in the gateau.
I saw a man using peanut butter as shaving cream to shave his testicals
I said, “What are you doing man, that’s just nuts!”
I’m so happy, my 3 year old daughter is learning Dad Jokes! Went to our local Zoo today and 1/2 way around there is a cafe so I asked her if she wanted an ice cream... and she said...
I Scream - aaaarrrhhhhh...
Even better when actually a true story!
I haven't felt myself since I dropped numbing cream all over my body.
Dear dairy, I can't stop thinking about ice cream, cheese, and butter
Whenever my Muslim roommate goes for prayer, I sit down next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.
So that both of us are in A la mode.
I really wanted ice-cream in my coffee today
I bought some numbing cream the other day but it didn't work at all.
I still cried at my grandmother's funeral
I want to start a business similar to an ice cream truck, except we sell baked treats and play classic rock'n'roll music...
I'll call it The Rolling Scones.
I came home from work and asked my dog if he was sweet like ice cream cause he's gettting scooped up.
I was scooping ice cream when my wife said
Her: that looks good, can you scoop me some?
Me: sure, you want a spoon too?
Her: how else will I eat ice cream?
Me: no spooning, that's how our 3rd child happened!
Her: ............
..
.......
Door slam.
Me: can I have a Dr Pepper with cream and raspberry?
Soda guy: sure! Do you want raspberry purée or raspberry syrup?
My wife: raspberry purée. The kind you find at a second hand store.
I tried to make ice cream the other day,
But it didn’t churn out too well
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacé cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream... I can't wait to rub it in!
I felt pretty sick after drinking some milk with cream.
My stomach was churning for a while, but now I’m finally feeling butter.
I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream.
I can’t wait to rub it in.
Whenever my Muslim friend goes to pray, I usually join him with some apple pie and ice cream.
So that both of us are in a la mode.
I've been prescribed anti gloating cream...
I can't wait to rub it in.
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