What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?

It’s butt.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmeade6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
🚨︎ report
What does the golfing contractor say when he hits the ball?

DOOR!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/95555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2022
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees

Sycamore

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend gave me Def Leppard's Greatest Hits on CD. It was a nice gesture, but I can't listen to it...

All I've got is a phonograph.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RippleDotPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2022
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie...

Your rocket was probably going too fast

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostfromTexas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s yellow and hurts you when it hits your eye?

A bulldozer

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Progress-2925
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2022
🚨︎ report
What does an Australian say to his friend when he hits a bullseye....

Good aim mate.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hillza1986
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2022
🚨︎ report
A notorious bank robber and killer Artie hits a town bank on his travels. But the bank was emptied the night before. As Artie got more and more frustrated he strangled 3 of the staff before escaping with only a single Dollar Note.

Newspapers report Artie Chokes three for a dollar!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redgett
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2022
🚨︎ report
It's easy to fall in love with a taser if it hits you

They really are quite stunning

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kablaaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Nowadays, compilation albums full of chart topping hits just don't cut it. But in the early 2000's?

Now that's what I call Now That's What I Call Music.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2022
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore.

When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When paternity tests, lead to ratings success, that’s a Maury.

When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

But Canadians protest, underrepresented in jest, what’s one more, eh?

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

(Repost of mine from over a year ago. Sorry. I remembered it while stoned and it was funny again. Credit to u/weizguy74 for the Maury line.)

πŸ‘︎ 446
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What would you call a pitch that hits the catcher in the cup?

A count of two balls and one strike.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2022
🚨︎ report
Two fish swimming, one fish hits concrete and turns to the other and says...

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyGoat32
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2022
🚨︎ report
well when shit hits the fan--
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Turtle_Chan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2022
🚨︎ report
What happens when shit hits the fan????

It gets everywhere……

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pduhl
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2022
🚨︎ report
This hits h(e)ard
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PsChampion_007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The three wise men were visiting Mary and Joseph in the manger. The tall wise man hits his head on the door frame and says, "Jesus Christ!"

Mary turns to Joseph and says, "Write that down. It's better than Kevin."

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a car windscreen?

Its arse!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M1n1b1ker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2022
🚨︎ report
You kids might not know it, but we had an ancient version of a calculator, which we used only to count down the top hits of the 70's.

We called it an ABBA-KISS.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacoTeat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2022
🚨︎ report
A hitman who kills people through masterful karate was complaining about his clients being inconsistent, calling off hits then putting them out again.

He said it's nothing but "whacks on, whacks off".

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebrscott
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a squirrel after the second car hits it?

Re-tired

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanniGat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cute critter hits you?

You've been awwwww-struck!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
🚨︎ report
What is aimed at ankles, but always hits the nose.

A fart.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Inflation hits hard
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
In honor of the World Series: What do you call it when a chicken hits a ball out of bounds?

A fowl foul.

You can thank my daughter for that one!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thechristbearer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2021
🚨︎ report
When the pattern hits your eyes, but it's now full of lines

...thats a moire.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FiskFisk33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
🚨︎ report
Hits blunt
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KlutzyRefuse
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What sound does an aircraft make when it hits the ground?

Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tornado that hits the coast?

A Rollercoaster

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3nxj
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.

That way you start 2021 on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyRecon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of tea hits the hardest
          Reality
πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onion-volcano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a fish say when it hits a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skib900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
"Do you know what happens if a car hits a tree going 30mph?" my son asked.

I said, "No, I've never seen a tree moving that fast before."

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Hits blunt
πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s head after he hits your windshield?

His butt!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoneOfThisIsFine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2022
🚨︎ report
What is the last thing on a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

It's ass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Acehigh7777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2022
🚨︎ report
"When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie.."

"..thatsa Mondegreen." 🎡

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gracius0ne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield?

It’s butt

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeyshinenyc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2022
🚨︎ report
What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

It's butt.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jupiterdad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2022
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees

Sycamore

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits the windshield?

It’s butt!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DatabaseSolid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2021
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 693
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the last thing that goes through a mosquitoes mind when he hits your windshield?

His ass.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/digeratisensei
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the last thing to go through the mind of a fly when it hits a windscreen?

Its butt

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lundierpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...

That annoying.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tea hits the hardest?

Reality

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your knees, you mispronounce countries...

Singapore!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report

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