"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
Me: Hey, Dad, is that a man standing next to an igloo over there?
Dad: It's just an Aleutian.
Friend - Hey man could you call for some flowers for me from online?
Me - Yeah sure bro I will cauliflowers.
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: “Hey dad, did you just get a hair cut?”
“No son, I got them ALL cut!”
The cycle is complete. I have become my father.
Hey man, you want this pamphlet?
A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, “Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?”
The other man responds, “You are on the other side of the river.”
"Hey man can you give me that piece of paper?"
Man walks into a butcher store and sees a side of beef strapped to the ceiling. As he approaches the counter he asked asks “Hey, what’s with the beef?”
Butcher tells him if he can jump up and touch it, he gets half off his purchase. If not, he pays double. The man looks up at the beef and says,
“Nah. The steaks are too high.”
Matt: Hey man, I'm so tired of people walking all over me.
Art: At least they don't leave you hanging.
Hey son, you see that silo over there? A man died there once.
He was trying to find a corner to pee in.
Hey man,
A book fell on my head, i only have my shelf to blame
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheeling sticking out of his crotch. The bartender says, “Hey man, what’s with the wheel?”
The pirate says back, “Arrr! it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
Hey man! Did you get any snow out by where you live?
Hey! See the cemetery we are passing now? Well, the man who invented the crossword is actually buried there...
... his grave is 3 down and 7 across!
Two teddy bears are walking down the road. One says, “Hey, man. You hungry?”
The other says “Nah man I’m stuffed.”
A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe, the barman asks what he can get them and the man orders a pint for himself and 20 shots for the giraffe, the giraffe necks all 20 shots and falls on the ground, the man goes to leave the bar and the barman says "HEY, you can't leave that lyin there!"
The man says "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe"
Hey man you here about that joke on Reddit?
Yeah, I think I already reddit.
Hey man, are you all right?
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